to stripe or not to stripe

I LOVE stripes. I really do!PICT0163

I would venture a guess that I have at least 43 striped shirts. Most of them are big stripes. But this one from Eddie Bauer has a thinner stripe pattern. I know big women shouldn’t wear stripes, especially those that stripe across, horizontally. They just add too much to the horizon, which brings new meaning to the phrase ‘broaden your horizons.’ Ha

[When I checked on-line I Googled ‘women’s striped T shirts’ and 55,024 hits came up! We can’t all be wrong, now can we?]Photo 9

Today at work was ‘school picture day.’ And for the 21st year in a row, I wore a striped shirt. [And at least six of those years I had the picture taken in this exact same shirt!] I looked at all the other ladies in their nice layered, hip n stylish ensembles and thought, ‘next year I’m going to remember to dress up for school pics.’

One day when my granddaughter, Kez, was visiting, [a couple of years ago when she was much younger] she rode the bus to the high school and wondered how in the world she would ever find me. My other granddaughter told her, “That’s easy, you just get off the bus, walk up to the font door and look around for a woman in jeans and a striped shirt. That will be grandma!”


People don’t realize that the REASON I like stripes is because they hide, or at least camouflage, dirt. I can think of plenty of people who should wear stripes. All those people with food stains all over their front [who also somehow forgot to spray and wash!] All those people with bleached-out toothpaste drips at their neckline. All those nursing mothers who have sprung many a leak. [I’m just saying.’] All those people who insist on eating mint-chocolate-chip ice cream in the car without a proper napkin.

I love my Eddie Bauer striped 3/4 sleeve T so much that if I ever see it for sale again, I’m getting it in every single color combination. Until then I will have to be satisfied with my one, cute, thin-stripped shirt and my other 42 too-wide, terribly out-of date, unflattering striped T’s that fill my closet to overflowing.

At least they don’t have any spots on them.

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