I have a dear friend. We share similar lifestyles and family structure. We share the same beliefs and the same conflicts with food. She is struggling with many things — and her weight is just one of those that are overwhelming her. She has a busy full-time job, she serves in her church callings. She has a large family which she supports and caters to. She has a daughter who is going through a very difficult situation right now.
She emailed me yesterday morning and made a commitment that yesterday was a new day — said it’s the starting point for her.
My heart goes out to her. I want so much for her to succeed, not only for her weight goals but for her emotional and physical health as well.
I remember so clearly being at that very same point. Every single day I committed and recommitted to myself, and to anyone who I thought I could trust, that it was my [new or current] starting point. Every day I failed. Every night I said ‘Tomorrow. I’ll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow I can/will do it!’
[Everyday I woke up thinking about food and I went to bed thinking about food.]
[Every morning I woke up thinking about failure, and every single night I fell asleep hoping against failure. I prayed about food. I pleaded with Heavenly Father to help me overcome FOOD! My spirit was broken. I could not get through one single day! F.o.r m.o.n.t.h.s!]
I surely don’t know what the answer will be for my friend. I don’t know when the answer will come. Each person is so individually wired that my advice can’t possibly come in a ‘one size fits all’ solution. Each of us who struggle with food addiction and weight issues have so many, many layers we have to peel back, peel away in order to get to the real problem. And when we are unable or unwilling to do that during our own journey, those same problems find us, kick us in the butt after we lose weight and drive us back, again, to the comfort of f.o.o.d.
That’s why I say we use food for everything: reward, punishment, leverage, celebration, distraction, one-up-man-ship, power, to apologize, to praise, and, unfortunately, to hide or kill ourselves slowly. We use it when we are sad, mad, glad, bad.
Friend of mine, [you know who you are]: allow this quote to be a changing force in your life.
It doesn’t matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn’t matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years – we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for love and happiness, the light has been turned on. ~Sharon Salzberg