making the connection, again

I’m wearing a skirt I could have thrown away years ago. It’s from JCP and at least 20 years old. Size 10, black denim, mid-calf strait with a slit in the back up to the knees. So stinking cute! I can’t quite fasten the top button without pain, but I’m almost there. I also wore a new black/grey/cream striped button-up sweater and a lace cami and black heels. I see this skirt every few years and think, that needs to go, but it’s such a cute skirt. I’ve never actually been able to bring myself to throw it out. And now it fits!

I feel so good! I feel so good about me! You should have seen me! I was mingling at Stake Conference. I shook so many hands and hugged so many friends. I felt confident and happy and giving and strangely content! I sat on the very front row directly in front of the pulpit! I shook hands with both visiting General Authorities! I felt like the old me again. The one I like.

I KNOW the connection between taking care of one’s self and feeling good about one’s self! [So why is it so easy to forget once I reach a goal? Why do I settle, why do I binge? Why do I gain weight back that was so monstrously hard to lose?]

I look at people who are naturally thin, naturally healthy and I envy them. They eat until they are mildly satisfied and toss the rest. They don’t stuff something in their mouth when they are upset, overly concerned, mad or depressed. Instead they go for a run or take a hot bath. They read a book or make a phone call.

The other day I was frustrated about very recently spending money on some clothes that are now too big for me! [They fit fine ten pounds ago.] Tracy said, give them away. Get them out of the house, don’t grow back into them! But I’m going to take in the seams. Too much money was spent at Christopher and Banks to just get rid of them.

[And I’m taking them in with very tiny tight stitches so that I can never take the seams out!]