dRiVeS me cRaZy!

25 things that drive me crazy, make me mad or destroy my sanity: [Warning: you may not want to read this. Some content is unsettling or could be offensive to the pure in heart.]

1. Shrimp and other crawling sea creatures boiled alive and served as food for the human population.

2. Pornography. I hate going through a checkstand and seeing half-naked women right next to the candy bars, soft drinks and Chap Stick. When I was growing up, it was kept behind a counter or covered with brown paper.

3. People who leave their stuff on the toilet seat in a public restroom. This includes their poo, pee and paper.

4. People who use too much make-up. It seems they are hiding from the world and from themselves. I hate the orange line along the hair and jaw line of too dark [or the wrong color] make-up. Someone should be kind enough to tell the unwitting their makeup is all-wrong.

5. Forgetting important [and often trivial] things.

6. People who obviously haven’t studied the topic yet continually add their thoughts to the Gospel Doctrine class because they love the sound of their own stupidity. This kills the Spirit in a split second and undoes any good that was previously accomplished.

7. Really bad breath, and people who won’t bother to tell someone they could use a mint.

8. Gay and lesbian relationships. Holding hands and kissing in public. Movies and TV that insist on showing this depraved choice of lifestyle.

9. Bible bashing. Especially the morons who stand on the street corners during General Conference and yell at the top of their lungs that their views are more Christian than my beliefs.

10. Sewing machines that make knots under the fabric with the bobbin thread.

11. Manufacturers who try to trick me into eating more calories by putting 2 servings in a single package of say, a small bag of Sun chips, and list it on the nutritional label in very small print. This goes for a small bottle of juice as well. I mean, really, who is going to share the other half of a 14-ounce V-8 Splash after they have already put their germs on the rim?

12. People who can’t seem to rid their homes and yards of junk. This includes myself. My basement is a landfill in the making.

13. Public display of breasts. Big breasts falling out of a tiny tank top with a bra unequal to the exhibit. On more than one occasion I’ve walked over to a total stranger and said “Hitch it up, lady!”

14. Movies that would have been perfectly good but had to add vulgar language to up the rating.

15. Pop-up adds on my computer, especially the “one rule.” I’d like to “one-rule” them right in the nose.

16. Oprah weighing so dang much when she has access to the best dieticians, the best trainers and her own gym and swimming pool in all of her eight houses. I think it takes a lot of nerve to expect all of America to better themselves when she doesn’t take care of her own health and weight issues.

17. Tattoos, body piercing and the new trend of ear gauging with the big African-style loops that distort the lobe into a hideous display of anger and disrespect for the human body.

18. Affairs, unmarried sex, lies, flirting, cheating. Anything that undermines a sacred marital relationship. And as a result displaces children, warps their present and future relationships, resulting in the upheaval of society, creating single-parent families trying to raise innocent children on the backs of the welfare system.

19. Not knowing exactly what vitamins I should be taking for my particular circumstances.

20. Plaque. Getting my teeth cleaned and having to admit I’m particularly lazy in the area of oral hygiene.

21. The whole Hollywood thing. I can’t believe intelligent, hard-working, honest, decent people have any desire to observe famous people posing and stroking themselves on the red carpet. It infuriates me when the ‘rest of us’ fall prey to their lack of morals, lack of clothing and lack of reality.

22. Perfectly good cell phones and computers that no longer function because they have become outdated and have to be upgraded to keep up with technology.

23. Otherwise wonderful, loving and adorable people who can’t for the life of themselves realize they are offspring of a benevolent God who wants them to turn to Him in all things. They insist of ruining their lives with the trappings and glitter of the dark one’s lure.

24. People who continue to tell the same version of a story they’ve realized was not true but who enjoy the thrill of upsetting others with their gossip and ‘inside’ information.

25. Debt. The enticement of ‘having it all’ without having the means to pay for it. The concept of instant gratification and being lured by easy credit. The effect it has on the entire country and the economic situation when people selfishly want, want, want without actually having worked for it.