17
Mar

connected

Stuffed! Absolutely stuffed but not even close to being satisfied. I ate everything I posted about earlier and added one orange. All good, healthy food. And I feel like I’m about to pop. But I’m thinking about more . . .

What’s that all about? What is it supposed to mean? I’m sure it’s something dark-seeded. I’m sure it has to do with something that happened to me as a child. I’m sure it has to do with my mother’s cooking, or does it have more to do with being molested? Anyway, whatever it means, I’m sure it’s all connected. And even though I have eaten very carefully today I still feel pretty dang empty.

I don’t want to get all philosophical or anything, but I’m very aware I’m not content. And other than not feeling content, everything is fine. [?!?]  Fine and dandy, even!

In fact it’s been a wonderful day full of sunshine, happiness, hard work, good friends and healthy food.

Just . . . I don’t know. Food is connected to e.v.e.r.y.thing!

I work hard, lose weight, feel great, eat food, feel crappy, work hard, lose weight, feel great, eat food, feel crappy.

It’s difficult to negotiate my way around something I have to deal with — a minimum of three times every single day.