The retainers work well. Instead of grabbing and stuffing, I stop. I think. I analyze. I project how I will feel. I figure things out. And I actually had a great evening.
I like how I feel today as a result of how I took care of myself yesterday.
I know that’s how it works. I don’t know what happens in my mind that tells me to forget about it. Forget about your goals, forget about health and wellness. Forget about inspiring others. Forget about commitments. Forget about me. And it happens so quickly. I can ruin everything in just a few minutes.
The retainers make things slow down. Then it all [my relationship with food] makes better sense to me.
I noticed the other day when I was watching hubby’s TV, [he doesn’t have a DVR so you can’t skip forward and miss the obnoxious ads] the commercials actually made my jaw tighten and mouth water. And I immediately felt like eating. Something. Anything. Right now. I didn’t want to think if it even tasted good, was healthy or was good for me. It just had to go in my mouth and I had to swallow. Never mind the chewing.
This morning I lifted — arms and abs. I had peaches, raspberries, walnuts and yogurt. Weight is coming down a little, nothing I really want to type, but I will. 144.5. Never thought that number would be a ‘coming down’ number. But that’s reality.
Dang it. It’s been eleven months and I’d love to be at my goal  next month on the one year mark of this journey. I am willing to do what it takes. [Easy to say!] I’ve had my binge. I’ve had my detour. I’ve had my rebellious streak.
Back to the plan.
I’d love company and a little competition if you’re up to it.
I keep thinking . . . if I could just get my weight under control I could move on to bigger and better things. And this would be a whole different b.l.o.g!