dear grandma

We, (being me, mom, Keziah and Fisher) just took the ride of a lifetime in our new dream car! It is the coolest car I’ve ever driven in! It gets radio from basically anywhere, and it’s got a moon roof and the seats are so awesome! THANK YOU FOR HELPING US GET IT! I LOVE IT!

This, from granddaughter Blythe.

You’re welcome Blythie. I’m glad I could help. The big stuff is on you guys though. You will have all the hard work keeping it nice and clean and away from owls. You will have to carry in all the stuff and clean up the Great Harvest crusts and crumbs so the seats stay awesome! You will have to carry in the smoothie cups so they don’t tip over in the cracks and crevices. You guys will have to work hard to be thrifty and smart so you can make payments.

[I always ignore the opportunity to just keep my mouth shut. Instead, I always have to add my unsolicited two-cents-worth about being responsible.]

I actually remember so many times my own father helped me in this exact same way. I was pretty stranded in Pennsylvania without a car, with two small children and a husband who was inattentive [to me, anyway] and “worked” 15 hours a day. He isolated me and went on his merry way. I needed a car! I needed to be able to go somewhere and do something, even if only to the grocery store or the library. So my dad cashed in a bond from his mother, Grandma Smith, and sent the money for me to buy a used V Dub bug.

What a life safer.

My dad.

I’ve never felt particularly close or attached to him. I even have a hard time praying about him. I always thank the Lord for my Mother — that’s so easy — but I almost begrudgingly say, “Thank you for my dad, for all that he taught me about being thrifty and frugal and responsible and smart.” I just remember all that I didn’t love about him. He was distant and hard and immovable and cross and stiff and sore and cancerous and withholding and judgmental.

As it turns out I’m more like him than I am like Mom. That whole thing skipped a generation and ended up square in the lap of Tracy. She’s just like her: caring, nurturing, fun, teaching, forgiving, loving, friendly, a wonderful example, loyal, covenanted, dedicated.

I, right now, this morning, am working on next week’s RS lesson entitled Mothers and Daughters.

My opening statement:

What an honor it is to speak and teach today on this talk from Brother Ballard. I find myself both insufficient and unqualified in this area, but I’ll do my best to give to you the message he shared with all of us in April.

I knew I had to have a disclaimer in order to teach on this subject!

Oh, why does God always give me hard things to do? Why does he make me look inside and see where I need to improve, learn, do better? Why do I have to grow and stretch and feel? Why do I always have my regrets right in front of me?

I’d rather be hard and immovable and distant and cross. I’m not comfortable with gushy.

But I can help out financially, like my dad.

One thought on “dear grandma

  1. tracy

    I think this is bogus smogus. You are a lot like your mom and a lot like your dad and a mostly like YOU – a delightful, funny, smart, competent, organized, take charge kind of gal. I am not very much like grandma, but I want to be. I am too impatient, selfish, and prideful to be like her.

    Thank you for helping us – we are so relieved to not be living in fear of breaking down, flipping over, or wrecking when those wheels finally do lock up for good.

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