22
May

every day

I’m avoiding. I know I am.

Every day I get on the scale and everyday it says something I don’t want to post about. So I don’t. I avoid.

Every day I go to the jean pile that is a titch bigger than the pile I like.

Every day I start out strong and committed and then by evening I’m not so much. And I snack on things hubby has sitting on the cabinet. Two brownies before bed. A bowl of cereal while I’m watching taped NCIS reruns even when I’m not the tiniest bit hungry.

Or a hunk of cheese. I really hate cheese.

Every day I say I’ll exercise and I usually do on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. But today’s Saturday and I have no gumption. No energy. No interest.

Every day I think of my niece who has been doing good things since December and wonder if she has days and weeks like this.

And today. It’s snowing. And I think: No wonder!

Everything is messed up. The world is in chaos!

How can I possibly get my stuff together and keep it together when it is snowing on May 22?

PICT0458

Seriously.

What is the world coming to?

PICT0459

I was going to mow in the sunshine and fertilize the lawn. I was going to suck in the rays and absorb some vitamin D.

But instead I’m going to take a hot bath and wrap up in hubby’s wool socks and Under Armour and watch the snowflakes stack up in the yard. And eat steaming hot Bruce’s cereal. And work on my lesson for tomorrow. And feel thankful my friend Becky insisted on working the football game today [in the snow.]

And enjoy life as I know it.

7 thoughts on “every day

  1. tracy

    Happy Birthday to YOU, Happy Birthday to YOU, Happy Birthday Wonderful, Fabulous, Favorite Mother of Miiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnneeee! Happy Birthday to YOU!

  2. Tracy and family Post author

    Happy Birthday, Happy, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy, Happy Day!
    Do we have a birthday here?
    Birthday where?
    Birthday here!
    Happy Birthday, Happy, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy, Happy Day!
    I hope your day is wonderful!!

  3. camille

    I have days like that fairly often since I started adding things back into my diet. The very day I hit 189 after being stuck at 195-ish for a month or so I went and got Aggie Ice Cream with the kids, then was stuck at 193-ish for 2 weeks. The day I got back to 189 again (this Friday), I took the kids to get ice cream. At first I wasn’t going to have any, then I said I would just share with Abigail. I kept taking bites and she kept saying mine. I basically ate 3/4 of her ice cream.

    The worst obstacle to my progress has been that a month ago I dislocated a rib and then strained/tore a pectoral muscle, so for several weeks I could only do lower body exercise. This week has been the first time I could do any abdominal exercise, so I feel like all of the muscle I had developed had gone soft! I can’t believe I let myself get so out of shape.

    The Lindt 60% dark chocolate truffle squares are so yummy and only 2 carbs each, so I let myself eat up to 7 of them per day without feeling bad, but some days I eat 2 days worth (or more). I am very good at all-or-nothing, but moderation is very difficult. A sandwich is 46 carbs (just for the bread–not counting the insides), my daily target is 80-100 (slightly more if I exercise), most days I can stay within my range, but some days I blow that away (like if I eat ice cream, 34 carbs for a small).

    If I wasn’t in The biggest Loser at work, I would not be as concerned, but I am in 3rd place, I only need to lose 5 pounds to be in second place and about 15 to win. I have 3 weeks left, so I have decided to try a little (really a lot) harder. The prize is about $300.

    The fact that you have hard days just makes me see that this is an everlasting process. I can’t just stop when I reach my goal weight. I also thought I would already be there, but I still have 30-50 I still want to lose. Somebody told me they thought it would take me about a year, and I thought that was ridiculous. So far, I have lost 30+ in 5 months…..not exactly what I had hoped for (I thought I’d be done in 6 months), but I am also pretty happy with what has happened so far.

  4. Mom

    Totally everlasting! I’ve been upset all day and just ate a whole chunk of cheese the size of a small wagon!

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