9
May

mother’s day

I actually think of my Mom on Mother’s Day. Instead of me. That’s only normal. Case in point. One year when Scott was in college the bishop called long distance and asked him to speak in our ward on Mother’s Day as a big surprise for me. But I drove to my own Mom’s in Ogden and Scott drove all the way from Laramie to Lyman, to speak to an empty bench. Lots of people told me he did a wonderful job! I’m sure he did. He usually does. But I wasn’t there. I forget sometimes that Mother’s Day is also for me.

My Mom, though, was the essence of the holiday. She is and always will be the biggest and most far-reaching inspiration to me. She will always be the one person who believed that even though I made huge mistakes, I could over come them and get back to where I needed to be. She never gave up on that goal. She never made me feel like I couldn’t/wouldn’t make it back.

And now, every once in a while I can feel her encouragement through all space and time from where she is. I can feel her wanting me to see the bigger goal. I can sense her wanting me to make it back . . to where she is. Where we all want to be. And it’s a mother’s love that makes me want that too. I don’t want to disappoint her. I don’t want to be the one who doesn’t make it. I don’t want to be the one who messes the whole plan up.

So, Mom, thank you for all you’ve done to show me it’s worth reaching for. And when I feel like I’ll never make it, thank you for the nudges and the reminders and the example and the boost. And thanks for always painting that silver lining. Guess you’re getting quite the opportunity from up there! Keep painting!

And I’ll keep trying.

Love you!