8
May

what I learned thursday night around 8 p.m.

Do not start to work on your nails right before bed time.

Don’t try to take off last week’s polish with non-acetone remover.

Don’t soak your fingers in a bowl of warm soapy water until they are totally pruned.

Don’t use the wrong kind of Super Glue [the gel type] to salvage your breaks.

Don’t try to file the glue until it’s actually dry.

Don’t touch the glue with your other fingers to test it’s dryness.

Don’t put on the first coat until the glue is dry. [This wrong gel glue takes over 30 minutes to dry.]

Don’t use a new sallow yellow color you’ve always hated but suddently feel sorry for.

Don’t put on the two coats without letting the first one dry completely.

Don’t try to fix the messed up nails with even more sallow polish.

Don’t forget to take off your long sleeved shirt before you start.

Don’t try to put on your fuzzy blue PJ’s.

Don’t believe for one minute that if you hold your hands on top of the covers you won’t accidently forget and turn over and get your nails stuck to 1. your pillow case, 2. your eye lashes.

Don’t forget to buy the right kind of Super Glue and acetone remover the next time you go to the store [on Friday] so you don’t have to drive the 12 miles back the second you get home.

Seriously.

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