12
Aug

yesterday’s oatmeal

I’ve hit rock bottom! [just in this one area . . .] I’m ready to exercise!

Although my arms are tan [perhaps making them not look quite so fat] from camping for almost two weeks, I cringe with disbelief at how they are hanging on the underside. I can’t even feel that muscle I used to love on the top outside of my arm — the deltoid. I think. I used to flex and steel a feel. Now I can’t find it. I’m embarrassed to wear short sleeve shirts, but, seriously, I can’t wear a long sleeve top in 90-degree weather.

And my tummy.

Oh dear. Oh my.

I’ll just say I’ve got some serious work to do.

The thing is, my body is amazing! It’s always responded well to when I have a bout with exercise. I see results almost immediately. It ‘remembers’ what it was like when I took exercise seriously. It gets back in shape pretty easily. So why do I treat it with such disrespect?

My calves are  straight down from the knee now. No shape whatsoever. No defining muscle in the back tapering down to the ankle. Mikelle has ‘cankles’ with good reason. She’s 7 months pregnant! I’ve no excuse!

Every day when we swam at the river I’d look down and nearly gasp at what I saw: yesterday’s oatmeal spread all over my body. I wondered who would do such a thing to me! Who would sneak into my tent and spread cold, glutinous, lumpy oatmeal all over my body?

Starting this morning I’m going to lift or do push ups. I’m going to start taking my measurements again. Last year I measured every month and was motivated to make improvements. This year I’m . . . not so much.

My sister, Eileen was at GRL for a few days and I couldn’t believe how great she looks. She’s lost a lot of weight and she’s motivated me to do better! She swears it’s from walking every single day and eating cucumbers! And Camille! You should just take a look at Camille! She looks fabulous! All her hard work looks great on her!

I can do that! I can do better. I can refocus and get back to my goal weight. What’s a matter with me!?! I spent a whole year getting to where I want to be and then I just let it all slip away.

I’ve renegotiated my ‘goal weight’ and I’ve rationalized that I’m sixty years old and good enough. I’ve made excuses and lied to myself and eaten pure garbage lots of days. I’ve dropped the ball and let myself down. But now I’m ready to get going and get moving. I’m ready to make a change.

So here we go: 148 today. Measurements: Ugh.

38.25
33
37.25
38
22.25
15.5
12.25

Not good! Getting better promptly! Got some serious work ahead.