I’m a country girl. I live in a place that has one stop light. And it’s not even a real one! It’s a flashing stop light similar to a four-way stop and it’s at our busiest intersection out in Urie. So when we went to Hale Family Center Theatre yesterday I was ill-prepared for the –hello!– t.r.a.f.f.i.c!

Oh my WORLD! I should not have been allowed to drive under the less-than-favorable safe conditions. It was raining, snowing, sleeting, blowing, and I had little no visibility. My car windows were so messed up and foggy and my side mirror had a coat of oil or something on it. It’s as if someone sprayed it with Pam when I wasn’t looking. I kept trying to unroll my window as I drove down the freeway and wipe it off with a little orange microfiber cloth for my computer, which I have no idea, whatsoever, why it was in my car in the first place. I can just tell you that when I tried to wipe it with Christmas wrap — that didn’t work at all. All this while trying to drive 65 mph with two-million other Utah drivers out for some last-minute chaos!

You see, I had to drive to Cabelas to take a look at some camping chairs that I had seen online. Cabelas is, like, two counties away! Tracy explained that I just needed to go through the parking lot from Staples [our meeting place] and turn right, right again at the light, merge with traffic up the ramp and then get on I-15. Apparently I went straight, somewhere in the first few blocks, and found myself at 5400 South and some odd hundred west, and there was no freeway in sight. Lot’s of nicely decorated homes out there, though.

A long time later, after all the merging, the speeding, reckless cars and semis, all the on- and off- ramps on slick and icy roads, flashing lights, directional signs, the prison, a near-monsoon wind at point of the mountain, [and the constant flashing reminder that I-15 would be closed at Pleasant Grove at 11 p.m.] I saw what I hoped might be the lights from Cabelas up on the side of the mountain to the left, and took that exit. Winding around and around on frontage roads and getting out at one point to really clean my mirror good with my little micro-fiber, causing people behind me to honk as if there were a bull-moose in their lane, I finally climbed the hill to the store. Oh my world. It’s like it’s own planet up there. Twelve million square feet of testosterone.

I finally found the chairs under a full size two-seater airplane [and why not! there was plenty of room for an airplane!] suspended from the ceiling and spent approximately 32 minutes taking them down and sitting in all of them. I had decided on a pair of chairs but when I went to pay for them, noticed they were Coleman instead of Cabelas brand — my reason for going there in the first place. Back to the chairs. More indecision. I lugged four chairs flung over both shoulders to a register and stood in line for 17 more minutes. A very nice salesman named Russell listened to my driving story, the fact that I live in a town with only one flashing stop light and I’m not use to all these people and was quite understanding when I flipped out my $15-off coupon that had expired on November 30. He got a shopping cart for me, loaded up the chairs, pointed me to the elevator and said I really should ask for a manager downstairs and explain the whole thing to him and he would probably  ‘work with me.’

Well, I had that expired coupon, no drivers license, no checkbook, just my Cabelas card, my temple recommend and a school ID card. And such a look of utter and complete exhaustion on my face.

I got two $49 Cabelas brand chairs for $34! Not $34 each! $34 total. What a bargain! And the manager ushered me right out the door.

What wonderful customer service!

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