We’re morons. Computer morons.
Hubby has been after me for months! He wants a computer of his own. A lap top. A desk top. He wanted one for his birthday. [Seriously? A little out of my price range for a birthday present!] He wanted us to all go together and get one for him for Christmas. Friday I came home from work to a new computer desk and chair in the middle of the kitchen — well, the part of the house that used to be the dining room until I got rid of the table and put the piano in there. I’m not sure what it’s called now. It is sitting diagonally across the room between the piano and the hutch.
I know I say this a lot, but, seriously?
Yesterday he said he wanted to drive to Salt Lake or Ogden and get a lap top. I decided I’d better go with him so [oddly] [perhaps not so oddly, when you really know the two of us] we drove separately to Ogden, he in his big blue truck, me in my little green car. I told him I had been planning on going to Utah anyway because I needed to return a coat to Sport’s Authority and get some things at Sam’s. Other things on my to-do list were some stoneware-colored paint for a little craft I’m doing with a metal mitten on it. I really need the coolish-winter-blue that would be perfect for it. I also needed hairspray, lip gloss, two or three pair of pants from Walmart [with the thick double seem that I love so much.] I also needed some more baby spinach, kale, bananas, oranges, limes, pomegranate, yogurt, 1% milk, the new Quaker guacamole chips I adore [dangerous] and protein powder.
Anyway, he, of course, didn’t want me to do all those things on his time or his dime . . . so I went separately. I also stopped at Park City on the way home to visit the Columbia store. [I’m determined to get Steev a new coat for Christmas [a little late] that will last him ten years.
[Oops, digression seems to be the theme of this post.]
We went to Sam’s first. The salesman there was nerdy, young, awkward and a little, how do I say this nicely, smelly. He talked way over our heads and enjoyed throwing out all sorts of information that didn’t mean a thing to us. He watched with glee as we rolled our eyes and tipped unsteadily back on our heels as the blood rushed to our heads. We decided to go to Best Buy since we had to get a Router there anyway. That salesman was much more helpful, talked on our level and made the sale.
By the time I got home around 7 p.m., hubby had the computer set up on his little desk, had the router in the basement and my computer plugged into that. He had some new reading glasses which he instructed me to never touch or lose. He had all sorts of instruction leaflets strewn about and was sitting at the desk trying to operate his new wireless mouse.
[note the glasses]
Neither one of us had internet. Two hours later neither one of us had internet.
He finally went to bed and I wanted to play a trick on him. I’m not proud of this. But I went in and said, “Hey I accidentally lost your glasses. I know you told me to never touch them and to never lose them, but I was curious, so I touched them anyway, and I accidentally lost them!” He said “What? Why did you touch them? I told you not to!”
I couldn’t do it with a straight face! I said, “No I didn’t touch them. Why would you just automatically think I wanted to touch your glasses and that if I did touch them they would suddenly become lost?”
A little while later he was making his trek through the kitchen to the garage and he mentioned, “Johnny thinks I can get a foreman job at FMC but I’ve got to have email.”
So that’s what this is all about!
I said, “I can have an email account for you in ten minutes. You didn’t have to buy a computer for that!” I went downstairs and set up an account. Yes, we belong to the “Nosotros no comunicamos bien club.”
That’s the “We Don’t Communicate Well Club” [for gringos].