letting go of [some] beliefs

I’m having a lazy moment. I wanted to write about my love affair with Matt Townsend, Relationship Coach and frequent visitor to Studio 5 [an everyday DVR must!] Everything that comes out of his mouth makes so much sense to me. And he is funny! And he is LDS, a bonus because I don’t have to listen with an ear divided by my own religious believes.

Today, he talked about five things that women should learn to let go of.

I’m telling you, I was glued!

Because, I know [remember  my 12-steps and all the things I’m working on letting go of?] there are things I do every day that defeat my whole day. Things I really need to abandon. Things I need to prioritize. Things I need to release and hold up to the wind to be gently taken forever.

So about the ‘lazy’. I was just going to cut and copy them on here for you. For me. But it wouldn’t let me, so now I’m typing my version of it, which will be more personalized, anyway. See how smart he is. He wouldn’t let me get away with the lazy version.

1. Let go of the belief that you can have everything!

Life is about choices and your choices determine both the benefits you reap and consequences you suffer. All choices have a cost and those costs are determined not by what you want them to be, but instead by the principle you’re choosing to live by.

OK. What does that mean to me?

I think about some of the major choices I have made in my life. Ouch. Some have been really, really poor choices. Some have been better.

But, he’s not really talking about those choices. He’s talking about when we just take on so much, thinking that if we do more and more and more, we’ll have everything. Thinking that what we have isn’t good enough. Thinking that we have to compare.

Matt says that we should get clear. The reality of life is that there really is only so much to go around and instead of thinking you can have everything, it might be better to get very clear about the top three things that matter most and work hard to just obtain those.

And then he said: Once you have the top three things in your life then focus on obtaining everything else. Be sure as you begin to move down your list that you don’t sacrifice any of your top three things for the eighth thing on your list just because you don’t already have it.

That’s where I made my mistake.

But now I’m working on that.

The three most important things to me now are that my family is healthy, happy and safe.

I went after other things somewhere in between the age of 25 and 50. So my kids had to live with the consequences. I’m hoping, now, that they are grown, they are healthy, happy and safe.

And, for myself — I want the same things for me. My health is important to me. So, I need to live as though it is. Happiness is relative. I find happiness in places other than where you might look for or want happiness. I know it will never be in my *whisper* marriage. It’s just not going to happen. And safe. Well, that’s why I was extremely careful the other day when I was jumping off the cliffs at the Gorge. [JK!]

See. healthy, happy and safe . . .
[what a totally dorky picture . . . we all got a good laugh]

Tomorrow: 2. Let go of your need to have things done your way!