Sometimes the most powerful trap to get caught in is our own belief system. We all hang on to ideas, or ways of thinking, that just might be messing us up. So what if we could shake loose from our own rules and simplify? Matt Townsand list five things women should learn to let go of, and here is numero tres.
3. Let go of the belief that others don’t help because they don’t care
There are many reasons why a spouse and children don’t help more around the house and most of them have nothing to do with the fact that they don’t care.
Let me give you a few….
· They are more okay with a mess than you are.
· They are always told how messy they are and they believe it.
· You’ve never asked. Well, not recently.
· They don’t know how to do the work you need done. Perhaps explain it [again.]
· They’re insecure, lazy, unprepared, uneducated, distracted, depressed, overwhelmed in life, exhausted or ADD.
In reality, there are dozens of reasons why people don’t do more to help around the house and only one of them is that that don’t care about you. In my experience, they care immensely; they just have to feel like you understand where they’re coming from before they’ll try to understand where you’re coming from. When you act like someone doesn’t care about you or your needs, eventually they actually start to not care. That’s a problem that is much harder to fix than the other more simple reasons listed above.
Here, again, is my life. Here, again, Matt Townsand is inside my brain and my heart. I don’t know why the hubz doesn’t help more. I know he’s tired, depressed, worn out, uneducated, distracted, overwhelmed, insecure, lazy, unprepared and exhausted. But what about ADD? He’s not ADD!
So what the heck!!!!
You know I’m kidding, right?
But, seriously, some weeks he only takes out the garbage. That’s it. He doesn’t get his dishes to the sink. He doesn’t straighted up anything after himself. He doesn’t wash a dish, fold laundry, wash laundry, fix anything.
You might guess it’s a point of contention around here.
Gee, ya think?
I know I’m far from perfect. But I do get my dishes to the sink, wash dishes, do laundry, and straighten up after myself. But I don’t fix anything either.
Even though I love Matt, I only apply his info to other people’s lives because mine, sometimes, feels like it’s beyond fixing.
Oh, to have a do-over . . .
Actually, now that we’re here, we won’t be doing a do-over, but dang!
I’ve got kids I adore. I’m in love with my grandchildren. I’m basically healthy, happy and safe. And that’s going to have to be good enough. I’ll figure out everything else later. In my next life, though, I’m going to let go of the belief that others don’t help because they don’t care.