I’m feeling pretty darn good.
No, my weight’s not great, but it’s good. No, my eating’s not perfect, but it’s good. My exercising could use a boost, but I’m getting some in and I feel good when I do. I lifted this morning and about 3 times last week. I disco danced along with Dr. Oz a couple of times. I went for a drag yesterday with Titan, the newest member of our growing dog family. Oh, wait. You might think I meant to say ‘walk,’ but believe me, ‘drag’ is the more appropriate term.
I bought one of those expensive leashes that go in and out about 12 feet to let the dog explore while you walk. But, I had to put it on a short tether while we were out on the 60-mile-an-hour highway because I kept pushing the wrong button and off went Titan right next to speeding cars. That would never do! Now he is on a short 4-foot leash and he, seriously, wants to go faster than I can manage to shuffle along. Apparently, I need to take some dog training classes so he’ll want to go the speed pace of a 60-year-old out-of-shape Grommer.
What really is feeling good is that I unloaded a bucket-load of junk. I finally, just last night, read my fearless and searching inventory to another person! In celebration, we were going to burn it, but we’ll have to do that next time. Neither of us had any matches. Yup. Steps 4 and 5 are done. That’s not to say more stuff won’t come up that I’ll need to write down, deal with and admit. But now I know I can handle it. It took me a year and a half to finish these two steps!
And, today, I feel 50 pounds lighter, and a whole lot cleaner!
Just what are the 12 steps, you ask?
- Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable. What this means to me: My life was chaotic, frustrating, totally miserable, uncontrollable, unhappy, unbalanced, full of guilt and sadness. Now it’s not so much!
- Come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health. What this means to me: I finally figured out that my Heavenly Father loves me and is willing and able to help me with my biggest and my smallest frustrations, challenges, and burdens. He can take all the pain, suffering, misery, guilt, and chaos out of my life if I will just ask, and just let!
- Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. What this means to me: I finally gave up trying to make myself all better all by myself. I was getting nowhere, for years! I actually thought I had to do it all myself but I kept failing miserably at it. I even thought I had to have a better version of myself before I could attend the 12-step program. And, I finally realized I just couldn’t do it by myself. He is doing a much better job than I ever could!
- Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself. What this means to me: I needed to make a list of all the crappy, dishonest, terrible and hurtful things I have done. It took me a long time and it was very hard to admit to myself. I was SO in denial! I kept justifying. I kept lying to myself! I hated to dredge up everything in my past because it’s very difficult to really take a hard honest look at myself, my past. I had finally come to believe that my past does not define who I am today. But, I still needed to go through that process. So, I’m not going to lie. This was brutal. But now, it’s done. And, I survived! And, I honestly recommend it! It’s a lot like a spiritual colonoscopy.
- Admit to yourself, to your Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, to proper priesthood authority, and to another person the exact nature of your wrongs. What this means to me: I needed to find someone I could completely trust. I needed to trust in this program. I needed to trust that I would be better off following this step exactly as it reads, and really, really admitting all my wrongs. Again, Painful! Embarrassing. Shameful. Humiliating! Humbling! But done. And, I feel so much better. Trust is hard for me. But, again. I did survive! Now on to the next seven steps!
- Become entirely ready to have God remove all your character weaknesses.
- Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings.
- Make a written list of all persons you have harmed and become willing to make restitution to them.
- Wherever possible, make direct restitution to all persons you have harmed.
- Continue to take personal inventory, and when you are wrong, promptly admit it.
- Seek through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message with others and practice these principles in all you do.