6
Nov

oh yah mama!

So, it’s the morning I dream about all year long! I could have slept in an extra hour. I mean really could have slept in. After all, it’s Sunday morning and I don’t have work. I don’t have to be up until, I’d say, 8. And, it’s the first day of Mountain Standard Time. I seriously could have used that extra time to rejuvenate and rest my tired old body. But here it is, 4:45 [old time — cause I didn’t change my clocks back last night . . so really 3:45] and I’m wide awake.

Arrrgggh.

So, of course, first thing I did was p** and weigh. 141! Feeling so good about everything! Yes, it’s so sad, in a way, that my focus has always been on my weight. It’s as though I’m worthless, unlovable, ridiculously lame and practically senile when I’m overweight. I know! Don’t say it. I know that’s wrong. I said it’s as though. I know it’s not true, but it might as well be, because it cripples me so much, emotionally, that it might as well be true! It’s not right. But, it’s my reality.

So, my reality check just bounced!

Yah, I get it. It’s superficial and ostensible [is that the right word here?] but it’s the story of my life! I don’t know what bizarre set of circumstances made me this way. So, I might as well accept it and get on with life. I know that about myself even though I also know it’s not logical and it’s not reasonable.

Don’t go all judgmental on me. I do enough of that to myself to do the job very effectively, thank you very much.

Oh, my gosh. I’ve just spent many paragraphs dissing my accomplishment! I have worked hard for this. I deserve to celebrate! I’m going to do the happy dance.

Oh, yah, that’s me, there, dancing my silly heart out. And now I’m going to go upstairs to make me a delicious protein superfood smoothie! Start a batch of jeans, put away the dishes, take a hot shower, paint a nativity, head to Stake Conference and enjoy the moment!

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