Praise the Lord!
Heavens to Betsy!
I believe I FINALLY hit my breaking point yesterday! I guess you could say ‘rock bottom,’ but I’m sure I could sink/slide even further. I don‘t want to test it, that’s for sure. At any rate, I finally reached the point where I said, screamed, that’s enough.
I’ve been on a path of self-destructive misery long enough. And, I’ve been half-heartedly [quarter, actually] going about pretending I was making a change, but I know I wasn’t.
So, February 7, I’ve had it with all this crap.
Yesterday when I ate 12 lemon bars, 6 coconut bars, 2 bear claws, 2 raisin cookies, a bowl of pretzel-crackers dipped in honey mustard sauce, a bowl of pretzels/raisins/walnuts, 3 huge glasses of chocolate milk — I finally saw I was out of control.
GEE — YA THINK!?!
Can you spell C.A.R.B.S.? Can you spell D.E.N.I.A.L.? Can you spell Sugar Diabetes? Wait. I can’t even spell that!
Don’t know why it took that, to figure it out. I’ve been out of control since Christmas.
[Yes, I’m embarrassed and humiliated and terrified to have written this . . .]
Please don’t talk to me.
[Please don’t talk about me.]
[Please don’t feel sorry for me.]
[I just want to hide in a cave.]
I’m going to change this.