It’s been four full months since I’ve been out of control. I seriously don’t know what I’m doing. I feel like I’m in a time warp, an emotion warp, a body image warp, an intellectual warp. I guess I will either get it together, or I won’t. I’ve pulled out all my extra-large jeans that I thought were relegated to the quilt-making pile forever. They’ve been there for a couple of years. Mikelle and I went shopping a couple of weeks ago to spend her birthday money and I bought four XL shirts.
This is painful to admit that I an unable to stop myself. Maybe I need to get back to the 12-steps because the one thing that I know for sure is that I am powerless over compulsive/addictive behaviors and that my live has become, once again, totally unmanageable!
The other day I admitted I ate a whole package of E.L. Fudge cookies in one sitting. I hesitate to admit I ate another package of cookies the very next day because one of my lovelies came unglued and commented quite harshly. But that’s the reality of it.
I’m going to try so dang hard today to have a perfectly normal day today. I’m going to try your normal, not my normal.