19
Sep

group hug

OK, It’s time. I can’t hide from myself forever. You know I’m frustrated, right? You know it’s not going to get better until I sit down and process and type. You know I’m just going to keep gaining until I take a long hard look. I’m going to weigh 200 if I don’t get down to business and stop treating myself like I do.

[And I’ve got to try really hard to say something nice to myself.]

Today I got a good look at my reflection in the trophy  cases at work. Oh my WORLD! Oh my huge gigantic world! Oh my biggest loser world!!! I swear, I’ve got the hugest gut I’ve ever, ever, ever had. It’s like a total inner tube wrapped around my whole midsection, even in the back!!! I put my hand back there to feel and let out a blood curdling scream that had people running towards me.

“Oh my gosh, she finally did it; she got a big handful of her fat rolls, even the ones in the back!”

EEEEEEEEEEEYIKES!

Who have I been kidding for the last three weeks?!?

Last night I snuck three of hubz Ding Dongs and two of his Zingers right before bed . . . and then to really hurt/punish myself I chisled off a chunk of cheese the size of a box of muffin mix. Seriously!!!! I had to go out to the car at 1:00 in the morning to get some antacids. Miserable!

And, I always say to myself, “You need to remember just how miserable all that food made you feel!!!! You need to REMEMBER before you binge your silly head off.” Well, something like that. Minus the silly head part.

Anyway, today I haven’t had any Dingy Zingers. I haven’t had a block of cheese. I tried to eat much healthier and I exercised this morning.

What is the matter with me? It’s like I continually go out of my way to prove what a failure I am.

OK. Stop. I need to think of something nice to say about me, or I’m going to go eat a small VW of junk food.

Um, I know I am blessed in many ways and I can handle many things and I can [perhaps] get my poop in a group and do much, much better at taking care of myself.

OK then! Let’s have a group hug.

BTW, I just noticed that if you add one little curly letter to hug, you have HUGE!

 

2 thoughts on “group hug

  1. tracy

    Oh mama, turn this over to God. He is THE ONLY ONE who can help you. THE ONLY ONE who sees and knows and loves the real you. THE ONLY ONE who has the power to change you.

    Love you. So, so much.

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