15
Dec

self-destruction

Last Wednesday we had a 12-12-12 Snack Day at work. One of the teachers thought it would be fun to have a place set up in the conference room and have new snacks brought in every class period. There had been a sign up sheet in the teacher’s lounge for a week and it filled up quickly. People were talking about what they were going to bring all week long. When Wednesday arrived I checked out the conference room. Hmmm. Three different kinds of crackers and two cheese spreads. And two huge pumpkin rolls. OK then. I really had to at least try them! It would be impolite to not try them, right? [While others were planning the day with incredible anticipation, I had done self-talk all week saying to myself that I would t.a.s.t.e things but not over do it.]

Can I just say, today is Saturday and I am still feeling the effects of 12-12-12! I have had gas, bloating, sour stomach, headache, inability to sleep through the night, water everywhere — in my eyes, knees, ankles, legs, I have felt miserable for four whole days. I am sick to death of myself. I am sick of not having whatever it takes to not do that to myself.

Lest you think I’m exaggerating and horriblizing and just had one off-day . . . .

Here’s what I had . . .

three slices of pumpkin roll
three mounds of cheese-spread with a variety of crackers
two rockyroad brownies
one mint brownie
four cherry-o-lets
a handful of chocolate covered pretzels
two ham slices with cream cheese filling
two kinds of fudge
three caramels
two pieces of Spanish pudding dessert

Yah, I’ve got a problem, or two.

I didn’t want to weigh myself but finally got on the scale yesterday and I’m still 155. I hate myself.

I swear!

I’m ready to wire my mouth shut.