Some things are just too personal to write about. Some things are way too special. But the thing is, I want to remember this. I want to be able to go back and read this and learn from it and keep it in my heart. So bear with me because It might just be too much.
SomeOne and I had been having difficulties. I mean huge, major problems for a long, long time. It was breaking my heart. Literally. I could feel it in my chest and there was physical pain. It made me cry. It made me pray. It made me want to read my scriptures. It made me want to figure out how in the world I could make it all better. I was giving up fast. I was beginning to suspect that no matter what I did to try to heal the hurt and the separation and the ginormous gulf, it had gone on too long and was too big to ever heal.
Fast forward to me going to the temple more often because of some family history work. Fast forward to me getting a calling which required more fasting, prayer, scriptures. Fast forward to SomeOne’s and my relationship deteriorating even more. Fast forward to last week when I emailed and texted and tried to call. Fast forward to me being even more broken hearted and forlorn. Too much had been said. Too much had come out of the deep dark past.
Then, Friday I prayed more and pretty much on the spur of the moment decided to go to the temple. I prayed for answers. I prayed for solutions. I told Heavenly Father that I would do anything he directed me to do because, let’s face it. I was basically flailing all over the place and getting nowhere with my own words and my own way. I prayed, believing. I prayed knowing that He had answers and could teach me. And, I had an amazing experience! I drove to SLC and weighed all the options of which temple to attend. I had gone to Jordan River, Bountiful and Salt Lake a couple of weeks ago. I wanted to go to a “new” one and decided on the Draper Temple. When I got there, I marveled at the beauty of the building, the grounds, the flower beds and trees. I marveled at the peace! I hurried in, got dressed and went to the chapel where I slipped into a bench and opened the DC to page 65. I mean, I seriously put my two thumbs in the pages and opened it to this page. I thought, “Oh, that’s amazing! This is exactly where I’m at in my personal reading. How did that happen?!” I turned back a page to verify, realized that I had, indeed, previously read Section 37 and started on Section 38. In twenty six verses I had my answer. It fairly leaped out at me. It might as well have be flashing florescent fuchsia because it was so, so obvious. Of course I fell apart, cried, had to go to the front of the chapel for tissues, and then read it again and again.
It was a wonderful session. It was for Tracy’s great, great grandmother.
In the celestial room I prayed more. Answers!
On the way home I went over and over in my mind all that I had felt and all that I had learned. It was so healing and so joyful!
Around Park City my service engine light came on and I started worrying about the car. But I made it fine and vowed to get the car looked at.
Saturday morning I decided, again on the spur of the moment, to go to Laramie. It was Andie’s Prom and I also wanted to see Scott. I wanted to go visit him and drive the four hours instead of him always having to drive. I hadn’t been there since 2008 when Stephen graduated from Wyo-Tech. I prayed some more, packed a bathroom bag, a dressy outfit for the Prom and also for church, prayed for the car — since I hadn’t had time to get it checked out. Then I filled up with gas and prayed some more, this time for the car. It was so crazy. I said, Heavenly Father, if you want to, you could just turn off the service engine light if you want. Silly, right?
I turned on the radio and started listening to KSL. Oh my heck. The Matt Townsand show had just started. It was on relationships. Holy cow! Again. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Exactly. And, no, I’m not being dramatic or overly ridiculous. It was literally an answer to my prayers and about another fifteen minutes my check engine light went off. I started, of course, to laugh and cry at the say time. I mean . . . could anything be more obvious?
Long story short . . . it was a wonderful weekend! It could not have been more perfect. It could not have been more needed. We laughed and enjoyed seeing each other. Andie was beautiful and fun and clean and fresh and adorable. Scott was entertaining, helpful, and gracious, and hilarious and, just . . . I don’t know. It was just wonderful. You’ll have to take my word for it. He spent hours teaching me how to do a Rubic’s Cube!
Sunday we went to church and Scott taught Gospel Essentials. Again, a miracle. He gave a lesson I really needed to hear. He gave a great lesson and did a great job [yes I need a thesaurus because I keep saying wonderful and great!]
And, now I’m home and filled right up to the brim! My cup is just running the heck all over the place. My cup is spilling over the sides. My heart is so full because I can’t deny that miracles happened. The scripture. The engine light. The Matt Townsand Show. The healing. The lesson.
I might not have enough miracles to compete with the movie Seventeen Miracles, but I’ve got enough for me.