some body


Sheesh. Will this process ever be done? Will I ever reach my goal? I feel like I have been dieting my entire life!

I don’t even know what it would be like to be able to diet and be done. Or, what it would be like to not have to ever diet in the first place?

Anyway, I have been having a great week. I’ve tried much harder to be done by 6 pm and just plain grit my teeth through those couple of hours before bedtime. That is such a difficult task! The thing that keeps me going [if I can even call it that — since I fail so often and miserably at this . . .] is the Mormon myth or believe, I don’t know which, that when we die, we take our habits and addictions with us.

When I was in Laramie for Andie’s prom and to visit Scott, he taught a lesson that Sunday from Gospel Principles, Chapter 41, on The Postmortal Spirit, and I remember reading this paragraph:

Spirit beings have the same bodily form as mortals except that the spirit body is in perfect form (see Ether 3:16). Spirits carry with them from earth their attitudes of devotion or antagonism toward things of righteousness (see Alma 34:34). They have the same appetites and desires that they had when they lived on earth. All spirits are in adult form. They were adults before their mortal existence, and they are in adult form after death, even if they die as infants or children (see Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith [1998], 131–32).

I’ve heard that throughout my life, but the part about appetites, [addictions] really hits me hard. It doesn’t seem like I have ever been able to control my appetite — or perceived appetite —

And, although it is probably talking about other appetites besides food, for me, that’s the one that scares me.

I wanted to be to my goal by my birthday and didn’t make it. Now I’m trying hard to get to my goal by family reunion time, or GRL. But you know what? I should just try to eat healthy each day and get a little movement in. And appreciate my body for all the long years it has worked well for me. I look around every single day and realize I am fortunate to have the body I have, even with all it’s aches and pains, bad knees and bad feet and a sore back most every day. I see others who struggle with weight far more than I do and who are crippled or maimed or struggle with disease.

So 147 is good today. I’m sipping a chocolate smoothie and loving life right this moment.