6
Apr

it’s conference sunday

. . .and I really do have so much to be grateful for. I’ve spent months on end feeling sorry for myself, thinking I am going to lose a daughter. Thinking how unfair and hard life is. Thinking I have little to be happy about. But, seriously!  . . . . .

When I start thinking about it, really thinking, and when I say prayers of thanksgiving, only giving thanks and not asking . . . there is plenty, and more, to be grateful for. I really do have a good life even though, when I start to compare, it often stinks. So I try hard not to compare. When I do, I get jealous and envious and feel grumpy. I even get frustrated when I see the beautiful green, flowers, mowed laws, etc, in Utah and realize we still have last winter’s brown dull dead grass all over our lawns. So, no comparing.

I weigh 158. Let’s just get that out of the way. I have tried fairly unsuccessfully to have even one good week of eating healthy, not eating too late in the evening, and exercising, and, well, you can see where it gets me. I have two, spelled t.w.o. pair of pants that fit me. I am frustrated at myself and yet, determined to do better. Those two pair of pants are getting worn out, but I am not going to buy another pair of huge pants. Period.

I have so enjoyed and have been blessed in so many ways by attending the temple more often the past year. Anyone within the sound of my  voice, please know that I have a strong testimony of temple work and of family history work. It has helped me to be more forgiving, in fact has miraculously erased any feelings of ill-will or hurt or anger I’ve had for many years. It’s gone. All gone. Poof! As if by magic and I actually feel close to those souls in Tracy and Cam’s ancestry who I have gone to the temple for. And, of course, attending the temple for my own spiritual renewal, peace, safety and direction in my life is also a great blessing. [Elder Quentin L. Cook said that in his wonderful talk yesterday.]

I’m so blessed to have the children I have. I love them so much. My joy seems to have multiplied the last year. It’s not my story and not my opportunity/responsibility to tell, but I have to say that I am very happy for Scott. He’s had some good things going on recently. I think he might be heading back to this part of the state after Andie graduates. Cam and Nicole seem to be living at the speed of light! I see them on FB almost every single day and they are busy having lots of fun and I know they work hard too. I feel so blessed to have them back in my life. It would be so fun to go and visit them and see where they live/work/do.

Tracy, well, Tracy is struggling with some things. Her health. Her autonomy. Her strength. But I’m here to say that her spirit is strong and keeps going. She is ready to start another adventure to help her family financially and to feed her spirit and her intellect. She loves teaching and learning and I’m sure she will do a great job.

I feel blessed to have Stephen and Mikelle close by. They keep busy with their own individual interests and commitments. Stephen loves sledding and is, in fact out there today with friends from LaBarge. He goes as often as he can. He also works hard and I hear good things about him from his boss, Kim Hurdsman, just down the road a bit. Mikelle is one busy little mother and homemaker. She is always working, cleaning, nurturing and helping. She really did turn out pretty super. And she’s determined to keep us doing things together. She calls and says, do you want to go for a walk? Shall we have dinner together?

And speaking of blessings, oh, my goodness. My adorable, hard-working, talented grandchildren bring me such joy and happiness. I will save their accomplishments for another day, but just thinking about them fills me with contentment and happiness and determination to be a better person.

Time for Conference!

 

One thought on “it’s conference sunday

  1. tracy

    Mama, love, love, love your gratitude posts! Your life has not been easy and it gives me hope when you can be in a place of gratitude.

    You are not going to lose me. I am here and living and loving. My body is improving in some ways and not in other ways, but I am far from dead and most days I am far from complete incapacitation. I can walk most of the time and as soon as this foot heals I will be back on track to build some muscles. Keep your chin up! I am trying hard to keep mine up.

    Love you!

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