I’ve had so much advice! So many people telling me what I should do. So many people telling me I should leave. I should stop being a door mat, a martyr, and what am I teaching my children and grandchildren?
I get my joy and happiness elsewhere. I get my joy from my relationships with my children and grandchildren. I get joy from being able to support myself and having a responsible position. I get joy in the temple doing work for those who can’t accomplish it in any other way. I actually get joy sitting on my little bench second row from the front on the left each and every Sunday. I get joy reading a good mystery. I get joy being super prepared each Sunday for Gospel Doctrine class. I get joy at tithing settlement. I get joy in many other ways. And although it may not make sense to others, its enough for me.
Yes, the last few months have been rough. I’m sure they’ll get even worse on occasion.
But I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m looking forward-upward-outward-inward, but not backward.
Actually, to say it a better way, “We must go forward, look upward, move onward, and rise heavenward.” Thomas S. Monson