This seems foreign to me. It’s been at least four months since I wrote. And with good reason. We’re in a bit of upheaval in my world. Many days I wanted to sit here and type away writing about the chaos and the ugliness of the situation. I wanted to be brutally honest. I wanted to blame and scream and cry, but I was seriously, prompted to not do those things. And when I say seriously . . I’m talking in-the-temple prompted. By-God prompted. By-the-spirit prompted. And not just once. Over and over and over.
There were about eight or nine weeks in a row that I went to the temple. And I prayed. Boy howdy. I prayed my guts out. It was gut-wrenching. And I double checked with God to see if I was understanding and hearing the correct direction. I thought surely it was wrong. At first. But as time went on, I realized it was heavenly advice.
The message was to do nothing. Nothing! Seriously.
So, I went through each day acting as if nothing were wrong. I stepped back from everything. I waited and went on with life. I prayed. I listened.
And sure enough it was the right thing to do. Without going into too much detail, here at least, waiting and ‘nothing’ were the best thing to do. Because if I had reacted, if I had blown up, if I had screamed and raged . . . I’d have been in a much worse place than I’m in. As it is, I’m still in my own home, I sleep in my own bed each night. I am surround by things that speak of my life. I have family and friends and support. I’m in my ward family. I still have my callings. So I have comfort and peace instead of tumult in my life. [There’s still plenty of upheaval, but it has been manageable, through prayer, temple attendance and scripture study.]
Sometimes nothing is better than everything.