11th

It’s my eleventh day of eating healthy. Not one thing has gone into my mouth that is sugary, fatty, processed-y or full of chemicals for eleven big ones. What a huge difference! The first week was h.a.r.d but lately it’s been easier. Today has felt almost natural. Almost normal.

And all but two of those eleven days I have exercised — except I gave myself both Sunday’s off. I’ve felt sore every single day. Good sore! The kind of sore when you know you worked out the day before and it’s manifesting itself in every single muscle today. My favorite kind of sore!

So yah.

No more rubber bands holding my snap and buttonhole together. No more ginormous overhang on my tummy. [There's still a little one!] No more tight pants pinching my cro***. No more baggy eyes. No more.

Just feeling great.

Totally worth it.

[I know, I know. I've said that a hundred times before! And given my history, I know I'll mess up again. But I'm going to enjoy right now.] And Saturday is my one year anniversary of this post. One year ago [and 341 posts ago!] I weighted 161. At the time I was trying to be a Weight Watchers Receptionist but had gained about twenty pounds a couple of years after I had reached goal. What a hypocrite! I was miserable and [dang, there's no other word to put here] more miserable! I had no idea what the coming months had in store for me. Had no confidence I could really lose weight. I was so depressed. If you don’t believe it, take a look back there. I just jumped off the cliff and decided to do it. And I’ve blogged and blogged and blogged about the struggles and the successes. Probably way too much! Sometimes I go back there and read. Totally different life now!

Right now I’m celebrating, but not with food! I’m celebrating with feeling and joy and being proud and feeling OK!

It’s OK for me to feel OK!

140!

k.n.e.e.s.

Time to move on to something else!

I’ve been wondering about my faith lately. While reading, Women Food and God the other night I came to a part that really reverberated with me but which was a little painful and scary to consider as well. I went back over it a couple of times and then closed the book. I haven’t opened it again.

I don’t have the strongest faith. I like to think it’s sufficient. I often talk about it in church or with close friends. I say my faith is everything. I say I don’t know what I would do, where I would be, without my faith. And I believe that. But some days I know I’m lacking.

There are times when I wonder if heaven really can help. Is someone really up there? Sometimes I think I shouldn’t even ask for help. And so I don’t. Sometimes when I get into the habit of not praying, it’s because I think God really shouldn’t bless me or the specific children I’m praying for at the time because of something I’ve done. Or undone. Or not done.

And then I get over it and everything is back to normal.

Right now I’m struggling because of my dear sister. I’m worried about her diagnosis and treatments. I’m scared for her even though she’s courageous and believing and and in capable hands with her two doctors. I think if I had more faith she would be better right now. If I had more faith this would all get over with very quickly and she would be back to normal. So I feel like I have somehow let her down with my little faith.

It’s been a long time since I really, really prayed and I know I need to get back on my knees and reacquaint myself with supplication, with appeal, with communion, with entreaty, with petition.

Each night I go into my room and think, is this the night I kneel and pour out my heart? Then I perssuade myself, I’ll just pray in bed. I’m convinced that doesn’t work.

That’s my new goal I’m working on. Daily Prayer. And no, I’m not going to give a blow-by-blow at how I’m doing with that. I’m just writing it here to remind myself that prayer also is in my journey to b.e.t.t.e.r and it’s high time I worked on something besides food and weight related issues.

I saw a prayer on Second Wind a couple of weeks ago and I wish I would have copied and saved it because it was beautiful. It’s gone now, but I think about it every day. I would love to have those words back — to think about throughout the day. They were full of strength and faith and hope.

Today all my prayers are for Louise.

10 of 25

Yes, another list of good-for-you food. Here, you’ll find a short list of foods that you really ought to incorporate into your diet—because, frankly, their health benefits are through the roof. Eating well is one of the nicest things you can do for yourself, and if you can recruit your taste buds to be your ally, you may just discover that it’s fun to be good.

1. Avocados
Creamy, succulent avocados not only contain the best kind of fat (monounsaturated oleic acid) but also help your body block the absorption of bad fats (cholesterol). They’re high in lutein, which aids eyesight, and in potassium and folate, which may reduce the risk of stroke and cardiovascular disease. And they’re low in pesticides.

2. Beets
The pigment betacyanin, which gives beets their distinctive hue, is just one of several disease-fighting phytonutrients found in this root vegetable. Beets are also a good source of folate, which guards against birth defects, colon cancer, and osteoporosis, and are high in fiber and beta-carotene.

3. Horseradish
Glucosinolate-rich horseradish fights cancer and kills bacteria. It’s also a good source of calcium, potassium, and vitamin C, which, among other things, helps maintain collagen.

4. Sweet Potatoes
Whether orange or white, sweet potatoes contain phytonutrients that promote heart and eye health and boost immunity. They’re flush with beta-carotene (thought to lower breast cancer risk) and vitamin A (which may reduce the effects of smoking).

5. Cruciferous Vegetables
Cruciferous vegetables—cabbages, cauliflower, broccoli rabe—contain a powerful range of disease fighters. One particular hero, sulforaphane, may increase enzymes that lower the incidence of colon and lung cancers.

6. Blueberries
Fresh or frozen, blueberries have sky-high levels of antioxidants, which combat the damage done by inflammation. Anthocyanins, the natural plant compounds that give blueberries their deep color, may have antidiabetic effects as well. And new research suggests blueberries might protect the heart muscle from damage.

7. Dark, Leafy Greens
Dark, leafy greens such as spinach, kale, and swiss chard are an excellent source of iron (especially important for women), vitamin A, and lutein for eye health. Best of all, you know those omega-3s everyone’s talking about? They reside in dark greens (including seaweed, which is why they’re concentrated in fish).

8. Alliums
Alliums, the botanical family that includes leeks, onions, and garlic, share many remarkable traits. They can help lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels. Research suggests they inhibit the growth of prostate, stomach, and colon cancer cells. They also have antibiotic properties—so they can ward off germs as well as vampires.

9. Whole Grains
Don’t eat whole grains (such as buckwheat and quinoa) just because they are high in magnesium, B vitamins, fiber, and manganese. Do it because they taste great—nutty, buttery, earthy. And that, in turn, may actually help you to not overeat—one study found that people feel fuller after eating buckwheat than after eating other grains.

10. Spelt
Like whole wheat, ancient spelt is sweeter, nuttier, and higher in protein than its processed relatives. Both are also good sources of manganese and copper.

OK. These are the first ten on a list of 25 sUpErFoOdS. Of the ten I am currently occasionally eating all but horseradish. Although I did have that once at the Sader last year at The Ward Family Passover. But I need a kick in the pants to have them more regularly than once a week or less. I have beets every single day. And yams at last twice a week. Blueberries are in the freezer. And spelt is in my Bruce’s Cereal. So I’m heading upstairs to cook Bruce’s to toss some blueberries on.

Next shopping trip I’m going out of my way to buy more of these and to use them in more from-scratch cooking.

Why have I gotten away from really eating healthy? Instead I’ve been sneaking in unhealthy food but just eating less of it.

How’s that workin’ for ya, sweet pea?

N.o.t.

m.o.n.d.a.y.

i love monday.

this morning i woke up well. it was a little before four. i must have slept soundly because i felt so good. first thing i noticed was i didn’t have the usual morning bags under my eyes. i showered and dressed then did dishes and laundry. i got to work ten minutes early and exercised for twenty.

monday is my favorite day. monday is the perfect day. monday is often a misunderstood day and has been the butt of jokes for decades. mondays have been maligned. mondays have been taken for granted. mondays have been treated poorly. to me, however,

monday is

refreshing
energizing
forgiving
invigorating
newness
starting over
seeing clearly
organizing
realigning
monday is my day

monday comes right after the day of rest so it naturally follows that it’s a day of feeling brand new. this monday, today, comes after a week of spring break so it is especially a feel-good day.

i’ve visited with my children and grandchildren. scott and andie were here last weekend for three days. then i drove to rigby for five days and stayed with tracy’s family. on the way home i decided to go through logan and stay overnight with mikelle and logan. i got a new haircut from my favorite beautician, had a lovely home-cooked [by logan] dinner and watched a movie with mikelle.

delightful. wondrous. amazing.

i’ve checked off things on my to do list. i’ve eaten pretty dang healthy and i’ve managed to get in some good exercise.

i’m reporting my weight to camille this morning —  141.5.

monday is also a day to reevaluate and put things in perspective for the week. it’s a day to take a step back and look at what’s working and what’s not. it’s a day to choose what’s important to me for the week. it’s a day to let go of things that overwhelm or take away or drag down.

i’m optimistic and determined this morning. i feel like i can do anything. i feel my own value and worth. i want to accomplish something extra this week. something i’ve put off. i know i will find something to turn this energy toward.

i hope you wake up well today and enjoy this brand new day!

here we go

It was an excellent week. Most of it. I did have that little episode on Tuesday so I probably can’t really say excellent. It was a good week. Above average for me lately. I’ve been at 142 three days in a row! I might have been 141.5 if I hadn’t eaten the left over tilapia and steamed veggies, three string cheese (reduced fat) and two frozen pomegranate bars last night right before bed. [Frustrated s.i.g.h.] I’ll just move on.

This morning I did measurements [first time in a while] and I see things have shifted around a bit, especially with my lack of committed exercise for the past month or so. I did have a good exercise week, however. Five days out of the seven. So I’m choosing to give myself an A for the week. Yah, I can give myself an A. I’m worth that. B on food choices. Or B-. Still a good week.

January 8th: Along with the comparisons from November 11th in brackets:

Bust: 37 [same]
Waist: 31 [up .5]
Abdomen: 35.5 [up 1]
Hips: 37.5 [same]
Thighs: 22.5 [up 1]
Arm: 12 [up .5]

This morning:

Bust: 37.5
Waist: 31
Abdomen: 37
Hips: 37.5
Thighs: 22
Arm: 12

I have some work to do. Up on bust and abdomen. The same on the others. [But if I'm going to be honest, I'm up on almost all of them from when I was at my best numbers.] It’s good to actually look at where I need to focus. I can do this. I took measurements about a month ago and couldn’t bear to post them; they were so awful, but this is workable, doable, and I can see I’ve made progress since the unpublished numbers in March.

I got out a mat this morning and lifted in the bedroom. Kind of crowded, but if I put my feet up on the wall between the bed and the dresser, I can usually do my arm exercises without banging my hands on the other dresser. And then I did 125 abs. I hurried and did 40 push ups while I was in the groove, just to see if I could still do them. Ugh, very hard. And no, they’re not guy push-ups. Of course. I’m almost sixty and a woman, so I do granny pushups if you have to call them that. But, oh well. I did them! And I’m not too shy to brag about it. [I do need to work on them though. The last ten were pretty ugly!]

Today I’m cleaning the house, dishes, laundry, dusting and vacuuming. I hate coming home to chaos and clutter. Then out the door to head to Idaho. They don’t have weights so I’m winging it. I’ll do sit ups and push ups, the killer hydrant leg lifts and maybe walk if it’s nice. I want to remember every single day my goal is to be 141 next Monday.

Do you hear that, Camille? I’m reporting to you.

bikini

What am I thinking!?!

I’m going to Mexico in a little over two months! It’s bikini season! Well,  for me, that means it is capri and [not too] short  sleeve season. I’ll be showing a little ankle there and I don’t want fat ankles.

Come on girl. That should be a little motivation!

Actually, yesterday was a great day! Poached eggs on Great Harvest. Steamed veggies in a couple whole wheat wraps with a dollop of cottage cheese. And I nursed a Slim Fast on crushed ice the rest of the evening. You know what? I can’t actually sit here and say that was a great day. When I look at it, see it in black and white, I neglected some important things. I should have had more water, I should have taken my vitamins, I should have had more lean protein. Probably should have tossed in a fruit or two. Should should should.

I know better than to cut back that far, because it causes the boomerang effect and I usually go the opposite direction the next day. [Maybe it should be called the pendulum effect.]

Gotta be extra conscious today!

Weight: 144.5. Still some u.g.h.s going on here. [Why did I even bother to try to conceal my weight yesterday? There it is. Yuk!]

I need to exercise. All I did yesterday was clean and paint crafts.  So, so cute!

yippee for a spanish-speaking son

OK. It feels like an entirely new lifetime for me. A new beginning. I can finally concentrate on all the things that are important to me. Clean slate. Here’s a list of the things I can hardly wait to do for me:

1. I want to study today’s Gospel Doctrine lesson before 1 p.m. I scanned over it last Sunday afternoon [Gee, that seems like a lifetime ago!] and I know it’s on the birthright blessing: the marriage covenant. It’s all about Isaac and Rebekah and Jacob and Leah and Rachel. I love this story in Genesis.

2. I want to clean my bedroom. Enough said.

3. I want to get caught up on laundry.

4. I want to clean out my car and find the sour smell under the driver’s seat.

5. I want to clean out the fridge. I’ve been eating tournament food for three days and want to get back to fresh fruits and veggies. I can hardly wait to eat some Bruce’s cereal with frozen raspberries and walnuts. Maybe a sprinkle of wheat germ and some flax. Oh. It’s Fast Sunday. Maybe later.

6. I want to soak in the tub and slather on some ‘smell-good.’

7. I want to find the clothes I bought at Eddie Bauers last Saturday in Park City with Scott and Andie and see if any of them still look cute. I remember shopping, paying for and carrying them in a bag to the car but haven’t seen them since. I remember they were on my bed one day but I haven’t made it all week so they may be lost.

8. I want to clean the bathroom. I’m so embarrassed that Mikelle and Logan [apparently] came for the weekend and saw the house the way it was. I left at 4:45 each morning and got home around 8 at night, so I didn’t actually see them, but I heard they were here!

9. I want to turn the clock back so that I can say Happy Birthday to brother Rob, son-in-law Richard and cousin Kathy on the 4th, 5th and 6th, respectfully, so I can be on time for their birthday well-wish.

10. I want to put the ink in my printer that I’ve had sitting here beside it for over a month.

11. I want to call my grandchildren.

12. I want to find out the details of our summer vacation. Scott texted “We’re booked and I feel good about it” last Tuesday or Wednesday but I’ve not had time to find out any more. I know it’s in Playa del Carmen on the Yucatan the second or third week in June, but that’s about all. Yippee for a Spanish-speaking son who takes care of details!

Today’s the Sabbath and I’m shooting for #1 and #6. Let the rest take care of itself for another couple days.

so proud

I won’t betray her confidence by saying her name but I have a friend who is doing so well! She told me a little experience I wanted to share. I guess she will let me know if it’s not ok.

I measured myself for the second time today.  I thought I would share the results with you. The first measurement was Jan. 12, and the second was today Jan. 28.

neck: 0
above chest: -1
fullest part: -2
waist: -1.75
across belly button: -2.75
abdomen: -1.5
hips: -1.75
thigh: -.5

My reward for achieving a personal goal was to buy myself a new outfit. I went to Ross and could not find a shirt I loved, but I got 3 pair of pants because they were perfect. I left 2 pair in the bag and wore 1 off and on for a week. Saturday I ended up taking the other 2 back and exchanged them for the next smaller size! They fit very nicely, not too tight. They were the exact same pants (Gloria Vanderbilt-Amanda), just smaller. I am so excited.

This is a two week period!!! How’s that for success! How’s that for exciting! I can’t even tell you how thrilled I am for this friend who is so dear to me and who has found a couple of key answers that seem to be clicking for her right now! She is working hard to eat healthy and to exercise. She is making hard choices.

I’m so proud of her.

still yay!

Still 140, but it’s fast Sunday and I’m starving, so I need to take care and pay attention to the ‘natural sigh’ phenomenon and only eat until I’m pleasantly comfortable. This late Church business [1 pm - 4 pm] is pretty hard on fast Sunday. It’s 5:11 and I’m eating the first food of the day!

Some of the posts I read list the starting weight, goal weight and where I am in that process so today it’s 176/140/140! Yay! Or I could just say 161/140/140 for my most recent weight story. Still yay!

wooHOO!

I just walked in the door from a six-day ‘vacation’ visiting both Tracy’s family and staying overnight at Scott’s with a day in between at Jackson Hole. We had a blast! I swam until my fingers were similar in size and texture to raisins and took the opportunity to scrap off every possible bit of dead skin from my feet. [Sorry, fellow-swimmers.] Several times during our 4-hour swim I went off by myself and did 100 bicycles and 100 leg exercises swooshing the water back and forth as I moved my legs accordion-style together then apart. Fisher, Annesley and I also climbed to the top of the giant slide at least 15 times so my thighs were in knots. Were my legs ever sore this morning!

Anyway. On my way to the shower, I ripped off my clothes and jumped on the scale. 141! Actually would have been 140.5 but I ate a banana and apple on the way home. I’m so relieved. I worried about going on a trip because I don’t always have the opportunity [or committment] to eat like I want [need] to.

On the way home I listened to an hour-long radio show about New Year’s Resolutions and why they do or don’t work for the majority of people. Several callers explained their own successes or failures and I was drawn to the concept of looking back, evaluating and continuing on with successes. It’s the first time in perhaps four decades that I’m not beating myself up during Resolution Time, knowing I will give up or fail altogether by the end of January.

Let me say I don’t know, I don’t understand, why I was able to lose weight this time. I had tried so many, many times before, but for some reason it fell into place. I like to think it’s because I put it out there for public scrutiny. I blogged about every single pound. My niece, Sandi expressed her recent weight loss in the same vein, “The planets must all be aligned in the heavens,” adding to my belief that sometimes it just happens. There’s apparently no explanation why sometimes I can lose and sometimes I just can’t. Because for each success at weight loss, I’ve had dozens of failures.

My challenge now is to continue on, keep exercising [hard], choose healthy foods and treat myself as though I have value and purpose on this earth. Like I would treat a dear friend.

One of my favorite gifts is YOU!

I started reading this morning about 5 a.m. and can tell already it’s going to be my next obsession. What a storehouse of information for someone searching for better health, more knowledge and a goal-oriented way of approaching a change [a committment] in lifestyle.

I don’t want to re-gain. I had lost 35 pounds four years ago and gained back 20 of them just a couple of years later. [Thus my most recent endeavor to get back on track.] Please, if you see me and can tell I’m off track, encourage me to get right back on. Please don’t look away and pretend you didn’t notice. Get after me! [I'm speaking from experience here. I've done that with several friends who have lost enormous amounts of weight and then gained it all back -- I pretended I didn't notice.] [Gee, I love a well-placed bracket!] [I don't think it does anyone any good to look away.] Just say, “Hey, I think you might be struggling. Is there anything I can do to encourage or help?” And then do it.

So I am signing up right here, in front of everyone, to stay focused, stay tuned, stay committed, stay on track. I certainly hope to be able to move on to goals in other areas of my life that have pretty much been put on hold since last May: Spiritual goals. Personal relationship goals. Emotional goals. Psychological goals. Mental/learning goals. One of those will move to the forefront as I continue to stay up with my physical goals.

I’ve said to myself for years: “If I could just get my weight under control other things will fall into place.”

Well, now’s the test.