big D

Sometimes I speak in code. I’m not sure why. I think everyone around me knows exactly what I’m saying but when I speak in code I can pretend they don’t. Sometimes I think I’m funny, but I know I’m really not. Speaking in code makes me feel funnier than I am.

Example.

Sunday morning I got up pretty early [6:30 a.m.] because we had talked about cooking spaghetti before church, which started at 9:30. Scott and Andie had to leave Logan by around 12:45 in order to make connections around 4 p.m. So I quietly tip-toed into the kitchen knowing Scott was sleeping on Mikelle’s couch in the front room. I turned on the laundry room light and just cracked the door enough to barely see and started cooking the hamburger.

Dang if he didn’t wake up and yell, “Go to bed!!!!!” in a pretty grumpy voice. I meekly whispered back, “Mikelle wanted me to cook the spaghetti this morning before church.” “Go to bed!!!!!” bellowing from the couch.

I heard a thump and then a growl, someone tripping and stomping into the bathroom. I peeked down the hall and saw a light under the door so I concluded he decided to sleep in there. When I saw the light off a few minutes later I was sure he had curled up on the bathroom floor with a blanket and pillow.

Fast-forward 5 minutes.

My intestines were getting very ready for their morning evacuation. I like to call it the big D. [See, speaking in code. It’s not as disgusting as saying the big Dump, or BM or poop.] Anyway the D was making itself know and I was feeling quickly desperate. Scott was in the bathroom and I daren’t wake him up again. And I didn’t want to go into the newlywed’s bedroom/bathroom so I came to the logical conclusion that I’d need to head outside and beyond. I grabbed two paper towels and headed out, making sure I unlocked the door and left it open a crack because I didn’t have keys.

Long story short, I found a place behind a camper out in the parking near a fence and did the D. Whew. Big relief. Just barely made it. I headed back to the apartment and climbed up to the third floor to number 307. The door was shut and locked. Wow. All I could figure was Scott heard that the house was quiet and decided to come back into the front room to sleep on the couch, noticed the door open a crack and locked it. So I knocked quietly, knowing I would receive wrath but couldn’t think of anything else to do. After all, I had hamburger cooking on the stove, had no keys, no cell phone. I had to knock. Knocks turned into ringing the doorbell and knocking even louder. I reviewed all my options again and realized I would just have to get in there even if he was going to be mad.

Finally the door opened but to my complete and utter surprise [horror would not be too strong a word!] it wasn’t Scott standing there. In fact I did not know this person. I was shocked to see a sleepy guy in his shorts with a look of disbelieve that someone was insistent on getting him up at approximately 6:40 a.m. After many apologies and a quick discussion about how to get to the right apartment, I hurried away. As I went down the three flights I realized there were indeed six identical apartment structures in this complex surrounding their common grassy area full of courts and play areas and kid’s climbing apparatus. I looked around for something familiar, trying to orient myself and saw that I had made a wrong turn coming back from the big D. I eventually found the right building and climbed the stairs again to find the door 307 still cracked open and the hamburger ready to turn.

[Mikelle and Logan always park on the east of their place but I thought it would be closer and smarter to park over to the north. Said camper was right next to my car in the other lot, which was a little closer to their front stairs up to the third floor. But when I came back I turned right, thinking I was still over on the east where I usually park; but No. Big No. I should have turned left. If I had parked in the correct place, I would have turned right, but coming from the north, I should have turned left.] [Or I should have dropped little pieces of bread on the ground leading back to he correct complex much like Hansel and Gretel smartly concluded.]

Seriously, they should have painted all the buildings a slightly different color so that old and fragile and quickly-becoming-demented people heading out for an emergency D could safely find their way back. Seriously. Is that asking too much?

Or at the very least, an A, B ,C ,D, E and F on each of the six buildings to identify them. Surely someone else has lodged this concern to their complaint department.

PS: The really sad discovery was that Scott wasn’t in the bathroom after all. He had gone into the bedroom where I had been sleeping earlier and curled up so the bathroom really wasn’t occupied after all and I could have saved myself a trip to the outdoors if only I had known.

10 of 25

Yes, another list of good-for-you food. Here, you’ll find a short list of foods that you really ought to incorporate into your diet—because, frankly, their health benefits are through the roof. Eating well is one of the nicest things you can do for yourself, and if you can recruit your taste buds to be your ally, you may just discover that it’s fun to be good.

1. Avocados
Creamy, succulent avocados not only contain the best kind of fat (monounsaturated oleic acid) but also help your body block the absorption of bad fats (cholesterol). They’re high in lutein, which aids eyesight, and in potassium and folate, which may reduce the risk of stroke and cardiovascular disease. And they’re low in pesticides.

2. Beets
The pigment betacyanin, which gives beets their distinctive hue, is just one of several disease-fighting phytonutrients found in this root vegetable. Beets are also a good source of folate, which guards against birth defects, colon cancer, and osteoporosis, and are high in fiber and beta-carotene.

3. Horseradish
Glucosinolate-rich horseradish fights cancer and kills bacteria. It’s also a good source of calcium, potassium, and vitamin C, which, among other things, helps maintain collagen.

4. Sweet Potatoes
Whether orange or white, sweet potatoes contain phytonutrients that promote heart and eye health and boost immunity. They’re flush with beta-carotene (thought to lower breast cancer risk) and vitamin A (which may reduce the effects of smoking).

5. Cruciferous Vegetables
Cruciferous vegetables—cabbages, cauliflower, broccoli rabe—contain a powerful range of disease fighters. One particular hero, sulforaphane, may increase enzymes that lower the incidence of colon and lung cancers.

6. Blueberries
Fresh or frozen, blueberries have sky-high levels of antioxidants, which combat the damage done by inflammation. Anthocyanins, the natural plant compounds that give blueberries their deep color, may have antidiabetic effects as well. And new research suggests blueberries might protect the heart muscle from damage.

7. Dark, Leafy Greens
Dark, leafy greens such as spinach, kale, and swiss chard are an excellent source of iron (especially important for women), vitamin A, and lutein for eye health. Best of all, you know those omega-3s everyone’s talking about? They reside in dark greens (including seaweed, which is why they’re concentrated in fish).

8. Alliums
Alliums, the botanical family that includes leeks, onions, and garlic, share many remarkable traits. They can help lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels. Research suggests they inhibit the growth of prostate, stomach, and colon cancer cells. They also have antibiotic properties—so they can ward off germs as well as vampires.

9. Whole Grains
Don’t eat whole grains (such as buckwheat and quinoa) just because they are high in magnesium, B vitamins, fiber, and manganese. Do it because they taste great—nutty, buttery, earthy. And that, in turn, may actually help you to not overeat—one study found that people feel fuller after eating buckwheat than after eating other grains.

10. Spelt
Like whole wheat, ancient spelt is sweeter, nuttier, and higher in protein than its processed relatives. Both are also good sources of manganese and copper.

OK. These are the first ten on a list of 25 sUpErFoOdS. Of the ten I am currently occasionally eating all but horseradish. Although I did have that once at the Sader last year at The Ward Family Passover. But I need a kick in the pants to have them more regularly than once a week or less. I have beets every single day. And yams at last twice a week. Blueberries are in the freezer. And spelt is in my Bruce’s Cereal. So I’m heading upstairs to cook Bruce’s to toss some blueberries on.

Next shopping trip I’m going out of my way to buy more of these and to use them in more from-scratch cooking.

Why have I gotten away from really eating healthy? Instead I’ve been sneaking in unhealthy food but just eating less of it.

How’s that workin’ for ya, sweet pea?

N.o.t.

parentheses

After reading a comment on “The Proper Use of Brackets,” my last post, I wanted to explain one thing. Brackets are perpendicular. I love straight. I love 90 degrees. I have worked in a high school commons area every day for 21 years. It has a quarry tile floor with 6-inch terra cotta colored squares. I have sixteen tables and 64 chairs on my side of the commons. And I have little red dots on the intersections of tiles where I put the south-east leg of each table. Everyone in the school knows the TABLE LEGS GO ON THE LITTLE RED DOTS! It keeps all of the tables straight.

The other side of the commons is my friend and coworker, Becky’s, responsibility. She doesn’t have little red dots. She doesn’t care if the tables are straight. She cares about CLEAN. She is an extremely responsible and dependable employee. She consistently goes the extra two miles. She’s a wonderful friend. But her tables are not straight. A couple of times a day I straighten her tables the way I like them. I count in five tiles from the edge and line them all up. But it doesn’t really matter, because that’s her side. I’ve never once thought of putting little red dots on her side.

I’ve never really asked her, but I bet Becky can use parentheses.

[The sad thing is, I don't care so much about clean. If the tables are straight, I'm happy. So what if they have a little french fry sauce or left over grated cheese on the floor underneath! At least they're nice and straight!]

the teacher appears

I love when I’m in the zone. I love when I am thinking healthy, eating healthy and living healthy. [Was it really only 6 weeks ago that I was a careless, reckless slob, eating unmonitored junk, not exercising and spending 8 hours a day on the couch watching garbage?]

It seems like things are more clear, more crisp, more enjoyable, more alive.

The dozens of ‘health, diet, workout, sound thinking, whole living, self improvement’ books on my shelves call out to me and actually look inviting. I’ve had a Health and Wellness college manual on my dresser for probably 15 years and right now, this very day I opened it up, looked inside — and all of a sudden it’s fascinating! I thumbed through Bob Green’s 2002 [of Oprah fame] ‘Get With The Program’ and found information that I can use right here, right now. Phil McGraw’s 2003 ‘Ultimate Weight Solution’ table of content surprisingly aligns with what I am doing to become b.e.t.t.e.r in many areas of my life. And Jorge Cruise’s ‘8 Minutes in the Morning’ is far and away the best exercise, common sense, life changing, body changing sculpting book on the market. I have four of his books and whether I am in the zone or not, I try to exercise his way.

I am reminded of the saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”

Shopping is easier when I’m zoning. Yesterday I bought $46 of fresh vegetables and fruits, a few fat free-sugar free chocolate pudding, plain yogurt [lots of blue and black berries to toss in] whole-grain pasta, Wasa bread, Simply Fruit jam, and frozen stir fry with whole grain noodles. [Ever smear SFFF chocolate pudding on a Wasa slice and stick it in the freezer? I swear it tastes better than a Kit Kat -- pinky promise!] All set for the week! It saved me a lot of time. I didn’t have to go in the cereal, candy, pop, cookie, ice cream or bakery aisles. I cruised passed the cheese, processed meats and the chips [although I did pause at the rice cakes to read the nutritional label for a possibility next shopping trip.] And I spent quite a bit of time in the pickle aisle comparing labels, prices and ounces to get the best buy on baby whole dills. As I post I’m sipping a giant mug of homemade veggie soup with a V8 base plus black beans and whole-wheat bow ties. I’ve slice up dessert so I can munch on sweet cantaloupe chunks throughout the afternoon. [Hubby is having deep fried chicken fried steak, Stove Top stuffing and a milk shake.]

It’s incredible to me that I don’t feel annoyed. I’m not frustrated when people keep bringing up the subject of weight and fitness. I don’t feel like everyone is talking about me when they say something about weight. [I have felt that for the past year when my co-workers often continually visited this genre. I’d just get ticked off and walk away like ‘is that all they can think about anymore? Don’t any of them have a life?”

Aahh, the zone. It’s a nice place to visit, and I would like to live here!

U – turn [that's more like it!]

I AM worth it. I am worth the hard work it takes to get it together, to keep it together. I’m worth whatever it takes to get my health in line — the sacrifices, and planning, and hours of typing this daily journal. Yes, even the extra money for good, fresh, healthy food and the time it takes to prepare it; the time to stretch and exercise and lift and push and dance and sing. I am so worth it. I have value – not because of what I do for others or earn or accomplish or comprehend – but because I am a human/spiritual being with the same intrinsic value as all others who breathe and live and exist. And I don’t doubt where that very breath originates.

REASONS I WANT TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW: [this, to remind me to not take the before-mentioned detour]

My 40th Class Reunion July 3-4th
Family Reunion July 18th
Trip to Chichén Itza August 1st
Family Camping August 9-16  
12 pair of size 10 jeans in the closet!
Reduce my cholesterol
Reduce my BMI
Be a great example as a WW Receptionist
I definitely don’t want to be stuck in a wheel chair and have to get help pulling up my pants!

I can do this. I’ve done it before. I’m motivated right now, right here. Pounds and inches are disappearing and I’ve got momentum [Hey, that's Weight Watcher's new program  . . the Momentum Plan!] this very minute. Every tool I need is at my fingertips and I’ve every reason to continue doing what works and what has helped me that last 17 days. Boo to this morning’s detour!

Yeah for ME!