quotes

Practically heading out the door but I wanted to post these wonderful and thought provoking sayings about mothers that I used in Sunday’s RS lesson. I especially love the one by Picasso. Oh my goodness. Rip my heart.

Q u o t e s    A b o u t   M o t h e r s

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been.  ~Robert Brault

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  ~Rajneesh

If the whole world were put into one scale, and my mother in the other, the whole world would kick the beam.  ~Lord Langdale (Henry Bickersteth)

My mom is a never-ending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being.  I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune.  ~Graycie Harmon

Grown! Grown don’t mean nothing to a mother.  A child is a child.  They get bigger, older, but grown?  What’s that suppose to mean?  In my heart it don’t mean a thing.  ~Toni Morrison, Beloved, 1987

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.  A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.  ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

Sweater, n.:  garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.  ~Ambrose Bierce

One of the reasons I had respect for my mother when I was thirteen was because she would reach into the sink with her bare hands – bare hands – and pick up that lethal gunk and drop it into the garbage.  To top that, I saw her reach into the wet garbage bag and fish around in there looking for a lost teaspoon.  Bare hands – a kind of mad courage.  ~Robert Fulghum

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~Tenneva Jordan

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease. ~Lisa Althe

When I was a child, my mother said to me, ‘If you become a soldier, you’ll be a general. If you become a monk you’ll end up as the pope.’ Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso. ~Pablo Picasso

Motherhood is not for the faint-hearted. Frogs, skinned knees, and the insults of teenage girls are not meant for the wimpy. ~Danielle Steel

Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers and sisters, aunts and cousins, comrades and friends – but only one mother in the whole world. ~Kate Douglas Wiggin

It was when I had my first child that I understood how much my mother loved me. ~From “For Mother – A Bouquet of Sentiments”

All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother. ~Abraham Lincoln

number 5

My youngest, Mikelle is upstairs sleeping on the couch. It’s still early, a little past six a.m. She’s got the country music station on the TV and it’s playing quiet cowboy songs, dripping with regrets and lost love. She must have come in well-past midnight after spending the evening at her brother, Stephen’s. Then she was off to find her friends, Mary, Jordan and Hope, who all came home from college just to spend some time together.

Good friends.

[I told her not to sleep on the couch. Why can't my kids just listen to me? Don't they know that's the last couch I will ever have and it is getting all slouchy and droopy from their constant sleeping on it? We even had to turn the cushions around, for Pete's sake! --with the zippers in the front-- to try and get them back to their original shape.]

[We have a perfectly good bed in the back bedroom with Mother's mattress and a brand new memory foam from Sam's. And a cute bedspread and pillows!]

[But my kids come here and sleep on my new couch.]

[No matter how I nag.]

Mikelle. With her cute little bump showing. Mikelle with her white teeth and beauty-school hair. Hair of many colors. With her long strong nails from all her pre-natal vitamins. Mikelle all grown up with a husband, her own friends, a red car that is spotless to match her spotless apartment. [She actually said to me this morning, "Mom, I really think if you would just dust and vacuum every single day, you'd be so much happier!] Mikelle, with her checking account she keeps balanced to the penny every single day. Take-charge, Mikelle, who is self-assured and competent and confident.

Where the heck did all that come from?

This life has been too much for me, sometimes. And it’s been not enough.

How did she ever survive growing up with all my criticism?

Each time I pass through the living room I think I’ll ask if she would rather go into the bedroom, but she turns over and drapes her arm across her smudged mascara and I see, again, she’s all grown up. She makes her own choices. She’s cleared her own path and miraculously found her way to a place remarkably close to what I have prayed for her entire life. What I would have chosen for her if I had had even a smidgen of influence on her.

Thank you God. Thank you again.

She’s smarter than me in relationships. She’s more mature. She’s sure. She won’t spend thirty or forty years without meaningful conversation. She knows what she wants. She’s responsible and a good steward. She won’t care more about the couch than other things that are more important.

But yesterday she said, “It scares me, Mom, some of the things that come out of my mouth. Like Logan was in front of the microwave and I yelled at him — ‘What are you doing? Don’t you know microwaves cause cancer and you absolutely must push the off button and not just pull the door open. You have to count three seconds and then open it!’ ”

“And when Logan was putting the vacuum away I yelled, ‘What are you doing? Don’t you know you’ll pull the cord off the vacuum if you do that? You have to be more careful!’ ”

She said, “Oh my gosh! I’ve turned in to my mother!”

“And I’m always correcting his pronunciation and grammar and spelling and speech.”

Ouch!

I really wish I would have spent more time nurturing and loving and teaching and hugging. I wish I would have been less critical and less criticizing. Things have a way of being crystal clear later, when it’s too late. But if regrets count at all, I regret all the yelling and correcting and pushing and nagging and prompting.

Lesson learned. The timing’s off, but the lesson’s learned.

[But I still don't want anyone sleeping on my couch.]

i wanna know . . .

What did you get for your birthday?

cruise

Just to prove I can post about things other than the continual ups and downs of my weight, I decided to put into words something that has been going around in my head for a couple of days. I’ve been thinking about how interesting and surprising life is. I was telling my friend about the fact that my boys just returned home yesterday from a cruise. She said, “Scott and Stephen.” I said, “Scott, Stephen and Cameron!” She couldn’t believe it. I can’t believe it!

You have to know the background to realize how amazing it is that these three guys — men, now — spent a week together in the Caribbean. Cam moved away after his Freshman year. His father and I divorced and Cameron needed to be with his dad. He left one day while I was away from home and never came back. I thought he was going for one year, but he had something else in mind and has stayed for — 15 years? Something like that.

He came back for a few days when Blythe and Andie were born. He came another time. It may have been three times all together. But here is the amazing part. When my mother died last year, he came for her funeral. He stayed the better part of a week. Then six months later he came back to go camping with us for a week at Green River Lakes. Several weeks ago he went to Las Vegas with Scott, and then this past week he went on a cruise with Scott and Stephen. And now the awkwardness is gone.

My stoney, frozen, damaged heart healed. In a matter of a few months. It’s all stitched up. It’s back in one piece.

I’m not sure who to thank for this miracle.

I had passed the point where I thought we would never see each other again. I had passed the point where I believed we would never heal from the hurt. I had passed the point where I hoped my heart would ever have room for this son who left me.

But now, it’s like it never happened. He’s all grown up. I had remembered him all those years as the boy he was when he left. He’s very different than I had imagined. And yet he’s exactly the same.

And I’m so thrilled, so happy, so pleased, so relieved that a small measure of peace and comfort have filled my heart and blessed my life.

I am so blessed.

family letter

Last July 1, Scott initiated a family letter that would help us to keep up with each other. He emailed it to the other five of us. We all read and replied in kind. It’s been a great project. Call it Family History. Call it Catching Up. Call it Mom’s favorite part of the whole month!

Here’s how it started:

I have been thinking about doing a monthly letter to everyone for a long time now and I guess mom’s blog finally convinced me to do it. I remember getting something similar from Louise from everyone while I was in college but that was all hand written and mailed, I think email will be easier. Also I just want our family, mom and the 5 kids to participate. I hope everyone will join me and write maybe starting the end of July. I think this might be a good way to stay close and share upcoming plans. If no one else wants to join in then at least you will get a letter from me once a month.

I have loved every letter! I’ve loved every word. I look forward to the end of each month, knowing I will get at least two or three family emails from those I love the very most. For the past eight months I’ve saved each one in a special folder on my desktop and have been able to look back at them occasionally.

Just want to thank my children for participating in this venture and encourage you to continue to take the time to write to “us.” Someday I’ll print all of them and put them in a binder for us to reminisce with in our old age.

I love each of you so much
Love Mom!

traipsing

One of the other things we did when in SLC over the weekend was to visit Salt Lake CIty Cemetery after church on Sunday. I wanted Tracy’s family and especially the grandchildren to see President Hinckley’s grave and head stone. Notice in this picture the trademark cane along side the beautiful flowers.

How totally and touchingly appropriate!

We also saw President McKay’s and the area reserved for the family of Hyrum Smith. The words on the stone were so touching. You must go and make a day of traipsing through the sacred grounds and touching history for yourself. President Grant, President Joseph F. Smith and Joseph Fielding Smith were also there. I couldn’t help but imagine the huge family reunion that will be going on in the near future when all these souls are united.

We had a picnic out of the cooler: chicken salad sandwiches, grapes, apples, carrot sticks and turkey and cheese sandwiches. Note: no junk food allowed!

It was truly the perfect ending to a fun and wonderful family mini-vacation!

new haircut

Love my new do. Love the color. Love the shape. Love the fun we had doing it. Mikelle really is amazing me every single day. She’s all grown up. Has her own apartment, [with husband, Logan, of course!] keeps it spotless, has two weeks of school left, has worked like crazy for the past 18 months getting through cosmetology school and supporting herself [mostly.] She has a whole set of new friends but still loves her really ‘true’ ones from back home. She’s working hard to get her life going in the right direction. I so love this daughter of mine! And I love spending a day in the salon with her clipping, plucking and coloring me just how I want.  Thanks Kelle!

eilinus maginnis

My sister Eileen is rather famous. I’ve known it for years. But the older I get, the more I realize and recognize just how true that is.

You may not know her. But plenty of people do. It seems wherever I am, if I meet someone from any of the 13 towns in Star Valley WY, they inevitably know her well, know of her, or have only heard of her and want to meet her

She’s famous for her integrity, her kindness, her gentle spirit, her honesty, her goodness, her hard work and leadership, her teaching and of course, her cooking.

She has five boys and two girls, all grown, all responsible and incredibly decent people in their own right.

Just the other day, [again!] I met someone from SV and asked, “Do you know Eileen Hale?” He started to cry!!!! He said,”Oh my gosh, she is the most wonderful person I have ever known. In my entire life!!!”

I was amazed. I’m over being stunned, but I was still, simply amazed.

She makes me proud.

When we were growing up I was quite jealous of her. She was so much like my Mother. She cooked and sewed beautifully. She was popular and sweet and perfect, and, well, I wasn’t. Her nickname was Lambie Pie. Yup. Me? Dorabell!

But right now, right this minute I’m so happy to be her sister. I’m honored to share her family name and to have wonderful memories of us as we grew older, had families of our own and similar interests.

Blessings to you, Sister.

karen

My dear friend, Karen, was somehow prompted to say exactly the right thing to me today, via email. She first asked permission to send me a quote, apparently worried it might offend. But it was exactly what I needed to hear. I have no doubt someone [Mom, are you up there?] prompted her to know this message was what I needed. You decide:

“Closely related to our own obligation to repent is the generosity of letting others do the same . . . In this we participate in the very essence of the Atonement of Jesus Christ…We don’t want God to remember our sins, so there is something fundamentally wrong in our relentlessly trying to remember others’ sins…It is one of those ironies of godhood that in order to find peace, the offended as well as the offender must engage the principle of forgiveness.”Jeffrey R. Holland, “The Peaceable Things of the Kingdom”, Ensign, Nov. 1996, 82

The moment I read it I remembered how many sins I had repented of and hoped no one was still remembering. I realized how many times I had hurt my kids with words and actions. One argument in particular, stuck in my mind. Mikelle and I were in Stephen’s room and I was unduly cruel to her. I think I thought if I said something terrible and mean enough she would snap out of it and get her life figured out. But it was absolutely the worse thing I could have ever said. She needed my arms around her and assurance that I loved her. She needed patience and direction and acceptance and unconditional love. I gave her everything but. I still ache with remorse when I think of those words that spewed out of my mouth.

I can’t believe she ever forgave me for them.

And now, I have been angy at someone for saying something to me. The least, the very least, I can do is follow this council and recognize the folly of hanging onto it a moment longer.

“Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.”">–James E Faust, “The Healing Power of Forgiveness”, May 2007 Ensign

Thank you Karen. Thanks Mom.

200th post

Where does the time go? Time flies when you’re posting!

200 posts! What could I possibly say to make this post memorable. Special. Worthy. I thought about finishing my other post [post number 100] where I listed things about myself. Apparently it’s acceptable behavior in post-land to make 100 statements about yourself on the 100th post. I only made 50, so I’ve thought, occasionally, about finishing that.

But to tell the truth, I’m stinkin’ tired of talking ‘first person,’ talking about my hang-ups, my weight, my problems, my idiosyncrasies, my character flaws, my mistakes, my foibles. Tired of talking ups and downs, tired of junk food vs. healthy food. Tired of which exercises work for me, how much I like lifting, my measurements. Just tired of all that.

I want to do something to make me feel. good. right. now.

I want to feel wonderful.

And I know what’s going to take me there. A little gratitude.

1. I love my mom. I love her dearly. Her influence in my life blesses me every single day. Not many moments go by without me asking, “What would Mom do?” It might sound sacrilegious. I know a lot of people ask “What would Jesus do?” I’m pretty sure those two answers would compliment each other on nearly all occasions.

2. I adore my family. Each of my five children are so special to me. Each comes with different personalities, different priorities, different outlooks, but the world is a big place and my heart is a big heart. There’s room enough for all of them.

3. I’m so grateful for my employment which brings with it Wyoming retirement, insurance and benefits, paid vacations and holidays. It’s a good job despite some stressful occurences. I have great hours [early mornings] and nights and weekends off [usually.]

4. I love living where the seasons change. Even though my feet are freezing at this very moment, I so love a fresh snow fall, hearing geese overhead in Autumn, the heat of Summer and the fresh newness of each Spring day.

5. I love learning! I love hearing something amazing I’ve never heard before [or forgotten and get to hear it all over again.] Last Sunday I learned that God gave Moses power over the waters of the earth and he used his power majestically four times: parted the sea, turned water to blood, healed the poisonous water and struck the rock from which water then flowed in abundance. That is exciting!

6. Along with that, I learned the Council in Heaven was a series of councils rather than one long meeting. That makes so much sense to me, but I don’t think I had heard the concept before. Love it!

7. I am blessed with good health [at the moment] and I’m blessed to be able to use this body for everything I need. Just the other day I was somehow able to climb up into the Jeep without help [and without a ladder!] and later opened the door, aimed my feet toward the ground and slid out without incidence. Each day when I’m cleaning the halls I feel like a giraffe trying to bend myself in half to pick up a paper too big for the carpet sweeper, but I get there and back up again with relative speed.

8. I have several dear friends who would do anything for me. Friends I confide in, laugh with, cry with, call at any moment. And many, many close friends who enrich my life.

9. I was blessed to grow up in a huge family where I learned to survive hand-me down clothes, sharing one bathroom with eight other siblings and two parents, preparing meals, doing dishes and daily chores, learning to work together, play together, sing together and pray together.

10. Our home is almost mortgage free.

11. I’ve only been in one tornado and only felt a slight tremor during the Yellowstone earthquake a hundred years ago. I can’t imagine being in war-torn, storm-ravaged, or gang-infested areas of the world. I like my very quiet boring corner of the world.

12. I’m so blessed to know WHO I am, WHERE I came from, WHAT the heck I’m supposed to be doing with my life and WHERE I’m heading if I do the best I can.

13. I love my bed! Every single night when I climb in, the same words tumble out of my mouth “Oh, that feels so good!” And I snuggle down into my memory foam and succumb to my subconscious on my favorite feather pillow.

14. I’m blessed to know how to sew. I can fix lot’s of things, sew many, create a few and enjoy them all. I remember taking 4-H and then Home Ec. My mother sewed everything and all of us girls followed in her footsteps. OK, Louise, Eileen and Carol are fantastic sewers. I get along with what I need to do. I just signed up for a year-long quilting class and can’t wait to get my monthly projects started!

15. My five grandchildren mean all the world to me!

16. I have good teeth! I should have listed that third!

17. Laughter has always been easy for me. I love to be funny. I love to make someone else fall over with laughter. I love a good practical joke. I love good humor. I love to shriek in a movie. And I love to be around someone who makes me laugh out loud!

18. I love my living room furniture.

19. I am grateful for talents that keep me entertained, busy, able to give wedding gifts at a reasonable cost and assure that I’ve always got a project going if I get bored with life.

10. I love my new computer.

21. Ok. My Dad. I love my Dad. I just didn’t have that great of a relationship with him while he was alive. I’ve had a better one since he passed away. That sounds harsh. But it’s really not. It’s not. [I talk to him all the time, now. And I have great memories of him.] He was a very busy father. I felt like he was too busy for me. I felt kind of lost in the crowd. But I know, I KNOW, he worked his heart out for all of us kids. He did everything. He mowed and washed dishes and shopped and shoveled and took care of his mother and her three sisters. He planted a yearly garden and preserved it along side Mom. He planned for the future. He helped all of us with college. He helped a dear cousin of mine, financially. He overlooked so many of my faults. He was a great example of his beliefs and his faith. He provided for Mom so she was well taken care of the last 15 years without him. I know I disappointed him, but I know he loved me.

22. My life has been blessed by being able to spend so many summers at Green River Lakes. We’ve had every kind of memory possible, from grizzly bears, to 100 people sleeping on the floor in the lodge, to picking up one thousand cigarette butts and Hershey-kiss foils during our years as caretakers, to hikes and river rides and hypothermia and giardia. From inside-out tents in the dark, to pot-luck dinners. We’ve played Rook in the tent by lantern, seen Telescope Man and the Cook family for years, built rafts and sand cities, and canoed to the upper lake. We’ve had baptisms and family councils and church meetings on Sundays. We’ve made strawberry pie, and jello chilled in our little campground stream. We’ve hiked to the cave and called out to the whole world while standing on the highest boulder. We’ve ‘echoed’ hello’s across the glacier-made valley. We’ve picked layers of ice off our hand-washing water and nearly froze on occasional nights. We’ve had hail-ball fights in mid-July. We’ve been so hot we could only get relief by swimming in the corner swim hole at the bridge or laying in the lake. I’ve loved every single moment of Green River Lakes!

23. I love my Vita-Mix. Enough said!

24. The perfect color of sage green. After buying approximately nineteen cans of paint to match what I had in mind for a craft, I came upon the color ‘Streambed.’ It is beautiful! It is wonderful! You must have it if you love sage green!

25. Sunkist oranges.