ok, i’m not using the song!

OK.

I am feeling a lot of pain right now.

I want to download a song that I might want to use for my lesson this coming Sunday and I am not lying about this! [Yes, perhaps, I've been known to lie in the past or maybe exaggerate but . . .] I have been working on it for over three hours. I’ve had Tracy on the phone encouraging me from her sick bed and telling me [guessing] what I should do in a series of steps. She kept saying, “Oh for crying out loud, it can’t be that hard! Did you try this? Did you try that?”

What I heard: “blah, blah, blah.” as I tried to picture what SHE was looking at on HER computer, but it wasn’t the same on this one, even though — we have the exact same computers.

Of course I tried this and that. I tried several hundred thisses and thats!

Earlier she said, “You could get in the car and drive to Ogden in less time.” I know that! I’ve considered it, believe me. Even though Ogden is 120 miles away and the round trip would be about four hours. Seriously, I could have been on my way home by now! Even if I had stopped at Great Harvest for a free slice!

She said, “Well something is wrong.”

YES, something is wrong. I could tell that from where I’m sitting.

I asked if I could just pay her to give me lessons. She said no.

I think she said no in a sweet way because she thought it wasn’t going to be hard and she didn’t feel good about charging her Mother to teach her something so simple.

All I know for sure is that the little CD icon is still going around on song number three and has been going around continually for over two hours. I want song number eight, wouldn’t you know it.

I said “I think God is trying to tell me not to use the song.” A simple statement in and of itself. And I’m OK with that. I won’t use the song. My lesson will be fine without it, even though it’s a great song and I would have loved to use it . . .

Then the stinger. She said “Don’t judge God by your inadequacies.”

OK.

I am feeling a lot of pain right now.

[I'm kidding. You know I'm kidding, right? No actual pain going on here!]

mexican keyboard

Surely, this explains it all!

muchos entusiasmo

What a fun, exciting, enjoyable, spectacular vacation!

Andie and I went para-sailing in the Caribbean! [This is just the take-off. We went much higher than this!] We were up so high we could see the little island over by Cancun and Cozumel at the very same time. Definitely one of the highlights of the week! We swam in the most crystal-clear blue, warm water! With the finest, whitest sand I’ve ever seen! Beautiful! [Yes, it was a topless beach. Yes we saw some boobie. Some really ugly boobie! And there were many people who had no business wearing a bikini! Yuk! Others . . . Andie and I just kept saying, "Why even bother?" Pretty skimpy. About the size of a band-aid!]

One day we took the ferry over to Cozumel and shopped for the day! Got my Hard Rock Cafe shirt!

We also did plenty of walking and sightseeing. We found Wal-Mart and a Mega grocery store very close by. Shopping on 5th Street in Playa was so entertaining and Andie got some great bargains. We also went to Chichen-Itza to revisit the ruins. And gotta say the most wonderful day was at Xel-Ha, the largest natural aquarium in the world.

This was a morning ’til night extravaganza. We snorkeled, cliff-jumped, [ME! I jumped off every single cliff we came to! A couple were pretty dang high!] tubed, snorkeled some more, laid and read in hammocks, ate . . . boy howdy what a spread. They served all-you-can-eat meals all day long. We saw over 200 iguanas .  . . so many we actually quit counting, and if you know me, that’s something for the books because I count everything. There were dolphins, and so many thousands of incredibly beautiful fish everywhere. Andie and I couldn’t stop with the snorkeling! She spotted a ray which scared us half to death! A half-dozen other snorkelers came to investigate and sure enough, it was a huge sting ray down below us about six feet, burying in the sand. But everything else was turquoise, green, black and yellow-striped, white, silver gorgeous fish. They were right next to us. Hundreds and hundreds at a time! We explored in and out of underwater caves and reefs and hide-outs and shooed the fish towards each other for a better look. W.o.n.d.e.r.f.u.l! There were also turtles, birds, parrots, and manatees.

Chichen-Itza is an incredible and awesome experience. The Chichen Itza archaeological site is the most visited Mayan site on the peninsula. Eighteen structures have been restored over the years. Pyramid Kukulcan is the tallest of them and allows a view from the top of all Chichen Itza. During the Spring and Fall equinoxes, (March 21 & Sept 21) the setting sun creates shadows down the steps of the pyramid that resemble a snake descending. Here are lots of assorted pictures:

It was so fun to hang out with Andie and Scott. Late one night Andie and I snuck off to the grocery store for ice cream. We became familiar enough with Playa to go shopping alone. We swam every single day in the pools at the hotel. Most days, twice!

I am grateful for the opportunity to see a different country and culture and for spending it with two of my favorite people. Thanks for putting up with me and my senior moments which seem to come more and more frequently. I know I ask a lot of  ’senior’ questions, but I swear it’s not to annoy anyone on purpose. [It's only going to get worse from here on out!]

Chao!

PS: We also swam in an underground cenote on the way home from Chichen-Itza. See those cliffs? A little too high for me this time. But Scott and Andie jumped right into the water full of catfish. It was a nice way to cool off from the 100 degree/95% humidity day! The sunlight is coming from up above at ground level!

what ‘fun’ is

We did a quick Lagoon Day on Monday. Somehow we made arrangements, many of them last-minute, and headed to the city. Mother Nature was on her best behavior and provided 75 degrees — not too hot for us Wyomingites — and just enough cloud cover to sustain a pleasant breeze throughout the day. Some would argue Lagoona Beech and Rattlesnake Rapids were a bit chilly but after a few minutes in the water, everyone yelled “You’ll get used to it, really” so we all got wet.

Every little ride with my grandchildren brought such thorough and complete joy. I loved watching Annes and Fish and listening to the conversation between the two of them. I loved how protective big brother Fisher is and how he helps and encourages Annes. I loved watching him lift her into the airplanes and the cars and the boats. I loved that Fisher rode with me on the Dragon — twice. I loved holding their little hands. I loved how they were OK spending time with me at Kiddyland while their mom got in a few rides of her own with the big kids. I loved that Blythe and Andie got to spend some time together. I loved that Scott, Logan and Stephen had fun together — and that Shelby showed up and gave Stephen a big hug.

I loved that we had a picnic lunch out by the cars on a little grassy knoll. We’re so thrifty. I love the whole story of how Tracy got six free tickets so she could bring her family — yet another miraculous last minute happening. [Why she doesn't write a book, I'll never understand!] I love that the stroller was still in the same spot that I lost it — an hour earlier – when apparently it was left in my care.

It was a wonderful, truly enjoyable day with so many of us there. Those kinds of days are few and far between and I will enjoy and remember and cherish.

Love, love, LOVE my family! [Love the pic of Annes in Uncle Scott's hat and glasses while he hit the slides!]

And THAT’S what fun is!

flood 2010

So far it’s not in our basement!

This is to the left on the way to church

I keep being amazed at the weather, the wickedness, the economic disaster, the failure in government, the earthquakes and tornadoes, the prophecies and can’t help but wonder . .

A neighboring area just upstream from us.

The Blacks Fork

This is Meeks. Good thing we didn’t get it for the reunion!

In Mt. View at the new Pamida next to Benedicts

on the verge

OK. Whatever!

I’m through with 140. I’m deciding right here, right now, to be OK with 145. Tired of beating myself up over a couple of pounds. I’ve been 143 for several days and that feels great but I don’t let myself feel great for long, because I keep pushing myself for 140-141 [my Weight Watcher's Goal.]

I ran to Mikelle’s for a haircut, some fertilizer and undies. Also got a few things for our trip to Mexico next week. It’s dang hard finding clothes that are modest, comfortable, cheap and flattering. Apparently the four prerequisites automatically cancel each other out by mere definition. So I got a couple pair of capri’s at Sam’s Club and one pair of shorts at WM. I still have some summer things from last year, so that will have to do. I have a hard time spending good money on myself. I’d much rather have the money.

We had fun though. Went to a movie, [Last Song] dinner at a little Mexican place — tortilla soup! We got three little baby outfits and diapers at Sam’s, some maternity shorts at JCP and two tops at Motherhood Maternity. But just saying this doesn’t express by half, the amount of fun we had trying them on. And laughing our guts out! I can say without reservation that the most fun I’ve had with both my girls probably happened within the walls of dressing rooms! Oh the memories.

Bath and Body Works was having a 60% off sale. Run, don’t walk, to that sale today! Lotion for $4 instead of $10! Awesome!

And of course we went to a darling little craft shop that I love. I have to go there every single time I go to Logan. This time, however, we went three times. Cute, cute cute!

I swear, every single time I go there I buy something from this vendor!

I’m ready for summer and it’s raining like crazy. In fact it was snowing [SNOWING! on the 12th of June] as I came home over the Sisters this morning! But instead I’ll clean and pack and get ready for our vacation and clean out the car. I’ve got plenty to do! Maybe the rain will keep me focused. I’ve got laundry and dishes and dusting, oh my. And vacuuming and arranging and actually, just remembered I have a lesson to teach the Sunday after I get home from Mexico, so I need to start on that immediately. Everything else can wait!

Here’s where I’ll be for a week! Yay!

It feels so good to be on the verge of n.o.r.m.a.l!

shhhhh

one forty three!

healed

This is an amazing day.

A friend of mine is being baptised this evening.

Why is it amazing? People are baptised every single day. b.u.t. this woman has been bitter and anti-church for most of her life. People were actually rude and abusive to her as she grew up in this small-mostly LDS valley. They made fun of her family and excluded her on many an occasion.

She was fond of saying I believe there will be a whole lot of people in heaven who lived good lives, whether they are LDS or not. And I believe there will be a whole lot of people who don’t get to heaven whether they are LDS or not.

She saw hypocrisy all around her . . . those who acted less than perfectly but exuded an attitude of perfection and ‘being better than.’

So why now?

Personal circumstances have a way of forcing a person to their knees. And finding direction. Finding answers. I don’t pretend to know all that has taken place in her life the past six months or so, but I have seen a softened heart and a comforted spirit. I’m so happy for her and pray for her continued determination, commitment and guidance.

I will be there tonight as our entire boy’s basketball team sings at her baptism. I’ll be there to cheer for her and pray with her. I’ll be there to witness this transformation from old to new, and broken to healed.

Thank you, Lord, for this miracle in all of our lives. It’s wonderful to see and acknowledge His hand.

p.o.o.f

I don’t know where to start. Life is too big for me some days. Today.

Mikelle’s insurance was cancelled. She is having a baby and the insurance just went p.o.o.f! [It's actually Logan's insurance, but poof still the same.] I want to fix everything for them, but I can’t. It’s something they will have to work out for themselves.

There are floods all over the place. People’s basements and yards are under water. We had an emergency alert from our Sheriff’s department that went out over the phone system Sunday night, and sure enough, there is water everywhere.

Logan needs a job. Stephen needs a better job. Hubby wants an easier job. I’m just thankful I have a job, or three.

We have reunions galore coming up. One in July, and two in August on the same day! Seriously! The same day. And I can’t go to both of them. One in the mountains I love, and one at Bear Lake that I love! Also coming up is the July fourth celebration in Rigby/IF area which is quickly becoming a family tradition. A class reunion is on the very same weekend.

I’m heading to Mexico next week and haven’t started to pack. I don’t even have a suitcase! I keep thinking I’ll get to Utah to borrow one that I used last year. Working two nearly-full-time jobs takes most of my free time!

I need a haircut! I whacked at the top of my hair last week and lied about it. It’s pretty misshapen.

I’ve just begun a new series of classes that I’m hoping will steer me into a path of clarity and peace. I need peace. N.O.W!

Summer work at the school is overwhelming. I’ve got 68 rooms to “summer clean,” which includes stripping floors, waxing, shampooing, wall-washing, window-cleaning, light-cleaning, spraying down bathrooms, sanding and refinishing the gym floor, locker rooms, the Performing Arts Center. You name it, I’m in charge of it, and it seems we never have enough time or hands to get it done. And I have vacation days I have to take or I lose them. It’s hard to take time off when there is so much to do, but I feel like I earned those days and deserve to have the time: Inner conflict!

Couple all of this with my penchant for eating when I’m stressed. I so want to make it through a day without stress eating! And I realize the people closest to me are thinking, “Why don’t you just quit eating? Why don’t you just quit thinking about it. Why don’t you just quit weighing?”

And I so eat more, and think more and weigh more. And I come right back to the beginning.

I don’t know where to start. Life is too big for me some days. Today.

loose

My daughter must have been reading these last few posts because she called and asked, “Mom what’s the matter? What’s going on with you? Are you OK? Are you sick? What is going on?”

Nothing, dear. Just trying to take care of a few things. Think of it as my twenty-thousand mile check-up. There are a few screws and nuts loose but I’m trying to take care of them the best I can. :]